Kabbalah: The Chick And Metrosexual Religion

Madonna aka Esther, Demi Moore, Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears, Victoria Beckham, Elizabeth Taylor, Jerry Hall, Winona Ryder, Sandra Bernhard, Courtney Love (she must have lost her red string a long time ago), Roseanne Barr plus metrosexuals Ashton Kutcher, Guy Ritchie, David Beckham and (inexplicibly) Jeff Goldblum got roped into it.

What is Kabbalah? In short, followers wear pieces of dyed string on their wrists to fend off evil. In a sense, it’s as if the followers are their own little superheroes.

Actually according to The Kabbalah FAQ:

Kabbalah is an aspect of Jewish mysticism. It consists of a large body of speculation on the nature of divinity, the creation, the origin and fate of the soul, and the role of human beings. It consists also of meditative, devotional, mystical and magical practices which were taught only to a select few and for this reason Kabbalah is regarded as an esoteric offshoot of Judaism. Some aspects of Kabbalah have been studied and used by non-Jews for several hundred years – see What is Hermetic Kabbalah. [Kabbalah FAQ]

So it’s basically Judaism for people who don’t want to call themselves Jewish.

Esther, the driving force behind the rise of Kabbalah, it’s become a wonderful cash cow. There are some wonderful things you purchase at the Kabbalah store. The book The Way – it was concealed for four thousand years, the wisdom of Kabbalah, was believed to be too powerful, too mystical to be understood by the general public. So it remained unexplained­ until recent years. Apparently we have Madonna to thank for unlocking this mystical gate to knowledge. By coincidence you can also pick up a copy of Madonna’s The English Roses. For only $99 a perfect introduction to the cult mysticism of the Kabbalah is the starter kit pictured to the left.

Soon all you New Yorkers will be able to send you kids the the Kabbalah school, where your children can learn the pleasures of weaving (who do you think makes all those red string bracelets), and the ins and outs of childhood labor laws.

This rush of spirituality is only going to get bigger and bigger, so kick back, pour yourself a Kabbalah water and vodka, and enjoy the ride.