Ashton Kutcher’s thinking “yeah, she’s hot but is it worth all this bullshit? I mean, do I really want to be with an old chick with three kids who spent scads of cash on making sure her knees weren’t wrinkled? Is that normal? And god, why did she make me wear this Q-Tip suit? I feel dumb.” Ashton and Demi Moore, along with Madonna and her baby David Banda attended a Kabbalah meeting in NYC. Hey, it’s less irritating than Scientology. I’d bash Scientology more but people end up dead if they criticize it too much and my ass is way too precious to be in the ground. Earlier in the week, Madge, her daughter Lourdes, Lourdes’ sperm donor Carlos Leon and Madge’s best friend/ex-girlfriend Ingrid Casares attended “Celia: The Life and Music of Celia Cruz” off-Broadway. Madge knows how to keep it together – the chick she used to lick is still in the picture, the personal trainer she put in her to create Lourdes still sticks around….even if people get dumped by her, they still want to orbit Madonna. She’s like the sun. Plus – she has A LOT of money.