Justin Bieber Has A Surprisingly Nice Body And It’s Making Me Very Uncomfortable

Open Letter To Justin Bieber
Can you stop being a douche?
Listen, I just want you to know that I don’t like saying this. It’s very upsetting.

But I think we really need to talk about the fact that Justin Bieber has a nice body. Like abs, muscles–the whole thing. The very obnoxious popstar took his entourage horseback riding yesterday and what says “look at how manly I am on this horse” more than taking your shirt off while you ride? Nothing!

Look, just because I want to admire Justin’s body, doesn’t mean I don’t also want to take the piss out of him.

Honestly, I wish his head wasn’t attached to that body. Because that is my ideal body! Sure, super buff like Hugh Jackman is nice, but the skinny guy with muscles is my favorite. Ugh! I am so many conflicting feelings right now!

OK, while I go work on myself, launch the gallery and check out all the photos of Justin’s shirtless horseback ride. Notice how he immediately pulls his pants back down when he gets off. Oh, and he’s riding a “purebred stallion” because of course he is.