Just Sayin’: It’s Just Booze, Not Bombs, People

Amidst the same headlines that feature the latest breaking news regarding the deadly oil spill in the gulf, the Times Square bomb scare, and the lacrosse murder in Virginia, Fox News decided that featuring a story about a Florida man who took one last swig of alcohol before a sobriety test was right up there in mega-important news of the day.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t condone drunk driving – but really Fox? Bomb scares and murders are comparable to some old man trying to get his drunk on? Loosen the eff up.

Poor old, drunk Dana Seaman (that’s really the guy’s name) was swerving down the road when cops in Marion County stopped the 61 year old man. Girl-Name Sperm-man admitted he had been drinking, but before the cops could administer a sobriety test – Seaman took one final swig of whatever choice of liquid courage was left in that trusty solo cop. “According to a police report”, the cup smelled a lot like booze. Yeah, well, obviously.

That’s all good and fine. We don’t want any drunks on our retired streets. But really what’s hard to understand is at what point in the Fox news room did someone think this was especially newsworthy? Maybe on your local Florida news site – but no, not even. This story was wedged between murders and bomb scares on the “Crime & Courts” US section of Fox’s site.

Ah yes, nothing says crime like a drunk old man who just wants to finish what he started. Do you know what they call that where I’m from? Conserving. Being economical. He bought that whole fifth of Jack and by God he is gonna be damned if he doesn’t drink every last drop. God Bless America.