John Travolta Assures Us That Scientology Is Ok With The Gays

July 3rd, 2007 // 7 Comments

Johnny Trav doesn’t understand why “Hairspray” is under fire from gay bitches. A few gay critics are squawking because he’s a Scientologist and Scientology isn’t kind to the mo’s. But he’s gay! I’ve seen pics! In an ordinary world, that would solve the problem and defuse the situation. Not this one.

However, Travolta has hit back at critics of his faith and insists he is not even playing a gay icon.

He tells The Scoop, “There is nothing gay in this movie. I’m not playing a gay man.

“Scientology is not homophobic in any way. In fact it’s one of the more tolerant faiths. Anyone’s accepted.”

Ok, I’ve seen the musical of “Hairspray” and kid, it’s gay. It’s real gay. It’s glitter in my ass, dancing on platforms, wigs afire gay. Substitute Tracey Turnblad being a fat teenage girl with a gay teenage boy and there’s your whole damn story. There’s a man playing her mother to full drag effect! And Johnny Trav is that man! He is so twisted. No wonder why his damn kid is banging his head into the television and Johnny is basically stepping over him to go out and pull a trick at the YMCA sauna.

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. kim

    You just didn’t hear him mutter *money is* between “anyone” and “accepted”

  2. kim

    You just didn’t hear him mutter *money is* between “anyone’s” and “accepted”

  3. BillyF

    What the F happened to Mr. Tranvolta? Sad, sadder, gay, gayer, and just getting more strange every damn time I hear something about him. The future is looking more and more like a Michael Jackson stomp for Mr. T. Things are just… getting weird!

  4. KAT

    IT IS SO OBVIOUS TO WE NON-PLANET ZENU INHABITANTS THAT SCIENTOLOGY IS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY THE “BELIEVERS” POSSESS AND ARE SOON DISPOSSESSED OF BY THE “LEADERS”, WHO DO IT FOR THEIR OWN GOOD. GIVE THEM YOUR MONEY AND ALL WILL BE RIGHT ON THEIR OWN LITTLE PLANET ZENU.

  5. silvarga

    OMG! WTF is with that gruesome ugly hand?

    Did he not fully cover his “flesh of Xenu” with human skin before shooting the scene? Where was his make-up artist? Well I guess if the make-up artist was male, he was back in John’s trailer getting dressed. And if it was a female, then he probably unhinged his massive reptillian jaw and ate her like something out of “V the Final Battle”

  6. julie

    OK, he should run for office. Every word out of his mouth is such a lie. First he talks about how his kid loves outdoor sports and is so good looking, and I saw the picture of the boy and he is so obviously handicapped. Then, he and his “wife” are trying for another kid (break out the test tubes) and now Scientology is not anti gay, when just recently I read that they have reprogramming centers to “program” the gay out of you… clockwork orange anyone. Anyway, I will never see anything he is in ever again, and I used to love him, back when Look whos talking came out.

  7. KJ

    John Travolta is not gay! He’s in love with Olivia Newton-John and they are going to ride off into the clouds together in Grease Lightin’. Santa Claus is real, too.

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