John Mayer Overshares And Hates On Celeb Perfumers

John Mayer seems to get off on words going straight from his brain to his lips.  Whether that means declaring intentions of forceful sodomy or his blow job situation, Mayer is all about sharing. These days the twitter habit only seems to be making the remarks come as quickly and freely as Mayer himself (okay, I don’t know about his speed because he hasn’t made a comment about that yet).

Weird statement # 457 is about the multitude of dirty texts he sends to girls.  He says the texts haven’t ended up in the tabloids because “If a girl brought a dirty text message from me to the newspapers, they’d say ‘I don’t have an angle here.  Someone wants to wear your ass like a hat? Big deal.”  (If you are one of those girls we will gladly take those gems for one big anthology of Mayer texts. Angle, Schmangle.) 

The oddity really comes in what Mayer says next.  “When I get married that’s gone be my vows, ‘Do you, John Mayer, take this woman to have and to hold, to wear her ass like headgear?’ Yes I do – you’re the one whose ass I wanna wear like a hat for the rest of my life.” Romantic.  Don’t plan on having those lovely words uttered to you, though, if you are one of those celebs hawking your own perfume.

Mayer, who is looking to get into some new things, will not be joining Pamela Anderson at Rite Aid with a signature scent.  “I’m not selling ‘John Mayer: the cologne.’ Who out there really goes, ‘You know what, I just [bleep] love perfumes. If I weren’t a pop singer, I’d be a perfumier’..  [sic].”  Note to John, you are not helping your chances getting into certain new things like perfumer Halle Berry’s pants.

Here’s the very open crooner retrieving his car as he leaves a medical building in Beverly Hills on November 11, 2009. (Insert obvious VD test joke here)