John Mayer Doesn’t Know That You Can’t Text Message Breakup

August 22nd, 2008 // 16 Comments

Someone call Kelly, there’s a batch (that’s the correct spelling) who doesn’t know you can’t text message breakup! Deck! (correct spelling) John Mayer reportedly dumped beige wall Jennifer Aniston via text message. I get that she’s about as exciting as watching your great-grandmother eat broccoli casserole at the Christmas party but that’s just evil.

“She is so intent on getting married and
having children, he felt hemmed in. After a 20-minute phone
conversation, he just said, ‘I can’t take it anymore,’ and hung up.
Then he texted, “That’s it–the end,” a source says.

Here’s the bastard at Nobu two days after he reportedly bitch-slapped Aniston via text. She needs to get Courteney Cox and roll up on his ass for that one. Find the Jolie inside, Jenn!

Check out all the photos of John Mayer in the gallery.


Someone call Kelly, there’s a batch (that’s the correct spelling) who doesn’t know you can’t text message breakup! Deck! (correct spelling) John Mayer reportedly dumped beige wall Jennifer Aniston
via text message. I get that she’s about as exciting as watching your
great-grandmother eat broccoli casserole at the Christmas party but
that’s just evil. “She is so intent on getting married and
having children, he felt hemmed in. After a 20-minute phone
conversation, he just said, ‘I can’t take it anymore,’ and hung up.
Then he texted, “That’s it–the end,” a source says.Here’s the bastard at Nobu two days after he reportedly bitch-slapped Aniston via text. She needs to get Courteney Cox and roll up on his ass for that one. Find the Jolie inside, Jenn!
Check out all the photos of John Mayer in the gallery.

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. green cardigan

    Wait a couple of days and John Boy will confirm or deny this rumour to waiting paps. He’ll probably deny it, because it makes him look like a major tosser, just like he denied the cheating and lying , but confirmed that he actually did the dumping.

    Poor Jenn. I know she makes you dribble with boredom JH, but a lot of us girls like her. She must be morta at this twat spliing the beans, when she is so private herself. She must be crying herself to sleep between Courtney and David these nights. Ok, thats just mean but the image is funny to me.

  2. T-Bone

    In his defense (and of course if this is even true), Jenn should not be coming on so strong.
    She needs to relax and give her relationships time to grow. Geez… Seriously, there is nothing more unattractive than blatant desperation, and nothing more attractive than cool confidence. Chances are good she’ll find true love once she gives up the ridiculous notion that she’s nothing without it.

    Still on her side though.

  3. T-Bone

    In his defense (and of course if this is even true), Jenn should not be coming on so strong.
    She needs to relax and give her relationships time to grow. Geez… Seriously, there is nothing more unattractive than blatant desperation, and nothing more attractive than cool confidence. Chances are good she’ll find true love once she gives up the ridiculous notion that she’s nothing without it.

    Still on her side though.

  4. green cardigan

    T-bone – She doesn’t strike me as the Desperado type. She’s just not very good at picking guys by the look of things . She needs to go for a gazillionaire who has nothing to do with Hollywood or showbiz .

  5. T-Bone

    Sorry about the double post.

    And I’m with ya, Green. There’s something not quite right about John Mayer. He seems honest, in a sense, but almost in a nervous breakdown kinda way ;)

  6. green cardigan

    He seems honest in a dickhead kind of way to me :)

  7. avionne

    C’mon John even a pre-teen knows it’s not ok to do the text message break-up…no matter what the situation maybe..breaking up in a text message is just not the way..doing it in person gives more closure for the both of ya’ll no matter how hard it may be.

    http://www.NycCelebs.com

  8. Zekers

    I guess a text message is better than a Post-it note!

    I agree Green, she needs to date someone who has nothing to do with Hollyweird.

    T-Bone-yes! Nothing makes a person runaway faster than desperation! I find it kind of hard to believe that Jenn is that desperate, but stranger things have happened…

  9. lola

    Mayer is smarmy looking – reminds me of a shady used car salesman.
    Not to be trusted.
    He probably will write a tell all once people get tired of his ‘music’ which sux….I just do not get why Jenn even looked twice at this one especially him being dimwitted Chestica Simpson’s left overs – ugh.
    (Romo – wise up!!!!!)
    I agree with Green – Jenn needs someone outside of Hollyweird and to ease up on desperation – whether it is true or not…
    nothing makes a guy run in the opposite direction than a desparate woman….

  10. Jane

    I would hope that Jen is not that desperate, she has been through an awful lot though and I would believe that what she is is vulnerable. When I saw her with him my stomach sort of lurched — she was obviously blinded by this guy and thought he was something that he is not. Heck, it appears he even thinks he’s something that he is not.

    Does anyone else recognize the the meaning behind the act of shaving your head? Generally it is not a good self esteem thing — it usually reflects self-loathing and rejection. As soon as I saw he’d shaved his head and his change in demeanor I knew he did something really rotten, or else she’d rejected him.

    John is a Jerk when it comes to women. He has proved it over and over again and this time he has completely cemented it — ain’t no spin gonna help his skanky ass.

    What a creep. I wish he’d just go away already and we’d no longer be subjected to his smarmy mug on the computer screen.

  11. Mia

    Lucky for John that he is a talented musician…..because otherwise he’s just an ‘Idiot Attention Fame Whore.’ Good move on Jens part to DUMP His Sorry Ass !!!!!!!!
    I was a fan prior….but certainly not anymore.
    Watch out John, I don’t think I’m alone on this one.

  12. nic

    If this guy had a d*i*c*k for every chick he’s ever screwed, he’d look like a porcupine. Next thing you know, they’ll be naming an STD after him.

  13. nic

    If this guy had a d*i*c*k for every chick he’s ever screwed, he’d look like a porcupine. Next thing you know, they’ll be naming an STD after him.

  14. Benz

    Yeah right, this is believable. NOT! What a total bunch of B.S.

  15. Mandi

    Actually, the correct spelling is “Betch”. Carry on.

  16. Mizz Thang

    The correct spelling is “bach” for “bachelor” if that’s what you mean (it’s an abbreviation; one does not randomly throw in consonants to make it “correct”–”batch” is an amount, not a single male!). If you mean “bitch,” that’s how it’s spelled. And if you mean, “dick” (for “Deck!”), well, then I give up. Sigh.

    But the 100% correct spelling for “John Mayer, it’s D-O-U-C-H-E-B-A-G.

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