J.Lo to Arbitrate

E! Online is reporting that J. Lo and her first ex-husband (you know there’s a second on the way because no one likes to wake up next to a meglomaniacal cadaver every morning) will be “arbitrating” over her lawsuit about his tell-all tome.

On Monday a Los Angeles judge ordered Jennifer Lopez’s first ex-husband, Ojani Noa, to enter arbitration with the Monster-in-Law star over his plans to peddle a racy tell-all book about their short-lived union.

Lopez filed suit against Noa last April, accusing him of trying to extort $5 million from her in exchange for keeping his book off the shelves, and won a preliminary injunction against him in June barrings him from saying anything negative about her in public or profiting in any way from “any private or intimate details” about Lopez or their relationship.

In movies and television, arbitration never goes well. Especially on TV. Most David Kelly television law firm shows have arbitration ending with a shooting. I don’t think it’s safe to sit across the table from someone you hate and argue about money and intimate details of your lives together. I hope they put a metal detector in the doorway to that room. You know Jenny From Tha Block has carried a piece on her ever since she was involved in that club shooting back when she was with Diddy.

UPDATE: Mark Anthony is actually J.Lo’s third husband and future SECOND ex-husband. So sue me, this bitch is trying to lap Liz Taylor and is going to be married 12 times anyway. Mark my words.