Jessica Simpson’s Inability To Read A Pregnancy Test Screwed Her

August 12th, 2008 // 3 Comments

Oh snap. This is when it doesn’t pay to be a drooling idiot. Jessica Simpson didn’t read the directions on her home pregnancy test, and mistakenly thought she was knocked up with an idiot baby.

This was manna from heaven for a bitch looking to hold onto a man! She ran to boyfriend and huge Carrie Underwood fan Tony Romo, and then they ran to his family in Dallas and told them she was knocked up. Guess what? They practically passed her a coathanger.

“You’re not married. This is crazy!,” Tony’s dad Romiro yelled. Mom wasn’t exactly ready to throw a baby shower, either.

“How can you do this to us?,” Joan Romo demanded to know. HAH!

I’m going to ignore the “how can you do this to us?” question because that’s almost as ridiculous as Jessica misreading a pregnancy test. On the big-tittied singer front, couldn’t she have asked Ashlee to read her pee stick? At least that bitch is actually pregnant. She might know how to use em’.


Oh snap. This is when it doesn’t pay to be a drooling idiot. Jessica Simpson didn’t read the directions on her home pregnancy test, and mistakenly thought she was knocked up with an idiot baby.This was manna from heaven for a bitch looking to hold onto a man! She ran to boyfriend and huge Carrie Underwood fan Tony Romo,
and then they ran to his family in Dallas and told them she was knocked
up. Guess what? They practically passed her a coathanger.“You’re not married. This is crazy!,” Tony’s dad Romiro yelled. Mom wasn’t exactly ready to throw a baby shower, either.“How can you do this to us?,” Joan Romo demanded to know. HAH! I’m
going to ignore the “how can you do this to us?” question because
that’s almost as ridiculous as Jessica misreading a pregnancy test. On the big-tittied singer front, couldn’t she have asked Ashlee to read her pee stick? At least that bitch is actually pregnant. She might know how to use em’.

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. Frída

    And it’s in the paper so of course you guys believe it. National Enquirer no less. What a reliable source.

  2. Rachel Marie Walsh

    That coathanger joke was really inappropriate and thoughtless. I like your site a lot and I know this is a ‘fluffy’ story but you really ought to apologise for that sentence.

  3. Rachel

    That coathanger joke was really inappropriate and thoughtless. I like your site a lot and I know this is a ‘fluffy’ story but you really ought to apologise for that sentence.

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