Jessica Simpson Claims Her Ass Smells Like Roses

August 29th, 2008 // 13 Comments

I think I’m going to heave. Jessica Simpson claims that when she farts, it smells like a rose garden and not like the numerous douchebags she’s had up there. I would rather see elderly people explore fisting than hear about what’s coming out of her ass.

The mouthy bitch gave a country concert in Niagra Falls, and one reviewer claimed all this dumb bitch does is talk, and talk, and talk. About every single song. A pox on her and her family. Well, not Ashlee’s gay emo baby. The innocent shouldn’t have to suffer.

“I do pass gas a lot,” she says. “I guarantee it smells like roses,” was one of the many fabulous facts about herself she offered.

Here she is looking tried and fried as she returns to her hotel in NYC after filming a commercial for Macy’s. I hope she got her ass caught in that tired wooden escalator that cuts off kids’ hands!

Simpson also referred to ex-husband Nick Lachey‘s cheating, and claimed she almost quit singing after she screwed up the lyrics to “9 to 5″ at a Dolly Parton tribute several years ago. Why did you come back? Damn! Dolly hates you like the rest of us do!

Check out all the photos of Jessica Simpson in the gallery.


I think I’m going to heave. Jessica Simpson claims that when she
farts, it smells like a rose garden and not like the numerous
douchebags she’s had up there. I would rather see elderly people
explore fisting than hear about what’s coming out of her ass.The mouthy bitch gave a country concert in Niagra Falls, and one reviewer claimed all this dumb bitch does is talk, and talk, and talk. About every single song. A pox on her and her family. Well, not Ashlee’s gay emo baby. The innocent shouldn’t have to suffer. “I
do pass gas a lot,” she says. “I guarantee it smells like roses,” was
one of the many fabulous facts about herself she offered.

Here she is looking tried and fried as she returns to her hotel in NYC
after filming a commercial for Macy’s. I hope she got her ass caught in
that tired wooden escalator that cuts off kids’ hands!Simpson also referred to ex-husband Nick Lachey‘s cheating, and claimed she almost quit singing after she screwed up the lyrics to “9 to 5″ at a Dolly Parton tribute several years ago. Why did you come back? Damn! Dolly hates you like the rest of us do!

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. Megan

    You need to take a chill pill. And this isn’t gossip. this is some cranky, jealous persons opinion

  2. Ana

    in one episode of her show, Nick and Jessica Newlyweds, she farted and nick smelled it and she was so emabarrassed that she went away in the laundry room and nick was trying to air it out cause it obv stunk the place! so yaa, were you trying to say a joke here jess?

  3. JeniLee

    um too bad Nick never cheated on her…real accurate article here.

  4. kimberly

    nick didnt cheat on her he probably got sick of her roses!! i think shes stupid i wouldnt even go to a concert for free. she forgets lyrics to and to her own songs and starts the band over….how unprofessional is that..i guess fans will forgive her for that but if she performs at the acm’s cma’s award shows and do
    es that she will be the mocked the whole night she thinks it cute but i’ve never seen an artist do that they may screw up a lyric here or there but they keep singing…what an idiot.

  5. kimberly

    nick didnt cheat on her he probably got sick of her roses!! i think shes stupid i wouldnt even go to a concert for free. she forgets lyrics to and to her own songs and starts the band over….how unprofessional is that..i guess fans will forgive her for that but if she performs at the acm’s cma’s award shows and do
    that she will be mocked the whole night she thinks it cute but i’ve never seen an artist do that they may screw up a lyric here or there but they keep singing…what an idiot.

  6. donyail

    I just would like to know, is Jessica pregnant? She’s surely hiding her belly alot!
    hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

  7. donyail

    I just would like to know, is Jessica pregnant? She’s surely hiding her belly alot!
    hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

  8. donyail

    I just would like to know, is Jessica pregnant? She’s surely hiding her belly alot!
    hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

  9. asdfgs

    I just wanna fuck her. All I wanna do is put my dick in every hole in her body. And if that means smelling her ass, then so be it.

  10. frank

    I want to lick her ass crack and put my nose between her ass cheeks and wait until she farts.

  11. Thomas Greene III

    I want to lick her asshole, then suck a fart out of her ass and hold it in like a bong hit. That would be a great first date!

  12. SNIFFING HER ASS

    WOULD NOT MIND SNIFFING JESSICA’S ASS,LOVE HER HANDS AND FEET ALSO LOVE TO SNIFF THAT ALSO WHE SHE PERSPIRES,HER ASS PROBABLY SMELLS LIKE SALT AND VINAIGRETTE,YUMMY

  13. Anonymous

    Jessica Simpson allegedly farted in the middle of a business meeting and it was apparently a stinky one.

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