“The View” Looking To The Intelligentsia To Replace Elisabeth Hasselbeck

October 23rd, 2007 // 11 Comments

Good lord, why didn’t they just clone her? Jessica Simpson will sit in for Elisabeth Hasselbeck on “The View” when she leaves to birth a baby. Egads, can you imagine the conversations? I hope Whoopi merely looks at her and gives an “Oooh child, you’re dumb as hell!” Jessica’s take on the day’s issues should be incredibly insightful. “Gosh, California’s burning! I hope they got enough water!” “We’re right to be in Iraq and we should do everything the president says so Hitler doesn’t win!”

It’s not permanent of course but the buxom blonde will step in for the pregnant Hasselbeck (who will take off on November 8th to give birth to her second child) next month. Jess will step in during the middle of the month for her shot at co-hosting duties.

“Mr. Bush really has close ties with Jesus, and I like that in a king.” “Whoopi, what are the other Africans like?”

By J. Harvey

  1. awwhailsyeah


    no, really.


  2. Bunny

    ooh you are too funny. I hate the view but with enough drugs I might be tempted to watch this if that rag dll Jessica is going to be on it.

  3. Shasta

    wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute…she’s staying for more than one day? She’s going to use her whole vocabulary in the first 15 minutes, what will she do after that?

  4. T-Bone

    OH NO — what kind of agent would subject his client to this? She’s going to be laughed right off the stage!

  5. I

    Hahahahaha – I can’t wait to watch!

  6. stolidog

    What is that thing standing next to the blow up doll with the big tits and barbie hair?

  7. Meow

    That there is Alison Kraus.

  8. rootabega

    that there is vincent from beauty and the beast

  9. Lola

    Check out Robert Plant’s facial expression, think he had a few too many glasses of wine? or maybe that’s the effect Jessica does to people…
    This is a good Caption This Pic…

    My question is how in the world did this stupid bitch of Jessica Simpson be in the presence of a rock legend, she’s not worthy.

  10. Eyes of Green

    Lola – that is my question also. As soon as I saw that was him, talking to her, I was tres confused. I hope he told her he had no clue who she was…

  11. Danae

    I think everyone needs to give the girl a chance. She may have been portrayed as a ‘dumb blonde’ on mtv with her show newlyweds…. but that doesn’t mean she really is an idiot! i’m sure she’ll have some very insightful and interesting points to make. I mean, if anything she’s just like you and I, and if reality TV has taught us anything, its that watching Joe Shmoe is way more fun than watching people acting… or who can’t act for that matter. Its not like its a perminent situation… and besides the girl is gorgeous! who wouldn’t wanna watch her for an hour a day? since when has society cared about the things poeple have to say anyhow…isnt it all about whats on the OUTSIDE that counts? lol

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