“The View” Looking To The Intelligentsia To Replace Elisabeth Hasselbeck

Good lord, why didn’t they just clone her? Jessica Simpson will sit in for Elisabeth Hasselbeck on “The View” when she leaves to birth a baby. Egads, can you imagine the conversations? I hope Whoopi merely looks at her and gives an “Oooh child, you’re dumb as hell!” Jessica’s take on the day’s issues should be incredibly insightful. “Gosh, California’s burning! I hope they got enough water!” “We’re right to be in Iraq and we should do everything the president says so Hitler doesn’t win!”

It’s not permanent of course but the buxom blonde will step in for the pregnant Hasselbeck (who will take off on November 8th to give birth to her second child) next month. Jess will step in during the middle of the month for her shot at co-hosting duties.

“Mr. Bush really has close ties with Jesus, and I like that in a king.” “Whoopi, what are the other Africans like?”