Jessica Biel Didn’t Take The Hint

Last week, Justin Timberlake was all up in the papers giving Jessica Biel the hook. Either that didn’t take or she beat the stuffing out of his micro ass because she’s back on tour with him. What is going on? Why do people lie? Why must we play such games? Seriously, she probably busted down his hotel room door, tore the chain right out of the wall, and got him in a headlock. After he started to cry and scream that he would never make her look bad in the press again, she was satisfied. She’s an Amazon, and you know they have one of those psychosexual fetish mixed wrestling type relationships. *shiver* Hey, it beats having to hang out with Diaz.

Biel, 25, arrived in Amsterdam Sunday evening, and she and Timberlake, 26, holed up in The Dylan, a romantic five-star hotel.

On Monday, they arrived in Stockholm. That evening, the pair – with a 13-member entourage – ate at Stockholm’s Beirut Café, a Lebanese restaurant. “They seemed like an ordinary couple in love,” owner Elias Karroum tells PEOPLE. “They were very sweet.”

Adds Karroum: “They also tried to smoke a water pipe with apple-flavored tobacco. They said they’d tried it before, but we had to show them how to do it properly.”

JT’s already mentioned he likes the herb, so I’m sure he’s done that before. I’m shocked that Biel lets anything close to impure enter her Glamazon body. After all, she has to be fit for that competition she has to enter on Paradise Island to win the right to travel to Man’s World to fight crime, and battle for peace with her golden lasso and bullet-deflecting bracelets.