Jessica Alba Needs To Make Up Her Damn Mind

December 31st, 2007 // 10 Comments

Photos: Flynet Onilne

Do you want to be photographed or not? Is it the clothes? I wouldn’t want to be see in that busted hat either. Here’s Jessica Alba trying to shield a zit or something from public view. Give it up, weirdo. Jessica, knocked up and engaged, has some advice for young women about love and relationships. She told CosmoGirl that ladies should wait at least one year before giving up the goods. A YEAR? Cash Warren must have had Smurf balls! Did he get her knocked up in one take because he had saved it up for so long? She’s evil. She’s one of those Jessica Simpson types who’s constantly shaking her boobs in the dude’s face and then withholds until she can officially snag him. Then it’s a Twilight Zone ending and he realizes he waited a year to be doomed to life with a gila monster. Jessica revealed to the magazine that she slept with a guy too early and was “left with nothing”. He probably got a bit of your “being beautiful is a burden” schtick and ran for the hills. She says “”you can be in a relationship and do some things, have fun, get to know each other – but don’t give them everything.” Which basically means oral’s ok but keep the triangular mystery under wraps until it’s on lockdown. And by “lockdown” I mean getting pregnant and securing your position in the sap’s life.

Photos: Splash

Photos: Flynet Onilne

7 more photos of the shy/not shy Jessica Alba are after the jump.

Photos: Splash

Photos: Flynet Onilne

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. DruNken LauRen

    i am guessing her nose has grown, this happens to women w/child….

    other than that I have no clue why all of a sudden this LATINA chick doesn’t want to have her pic taken… other that she is stupid….

  2. Ugh

    Guess this is her way of covering up zits.

  3. Janepitt

    She knew the paps would be all over her once she announced the pregnancy, so, just deal with it.

  4. Kate

    She’s so insufferable. No one’s forcing her to make movies and be in the public eye. There are lots of pretty girls doing community theater in Cedar Rapids or something who don’t have photogs after them at every turn. If she wants the fame, this is the price.

  5. Hm

    I think she’s a pretty girl. Too bad she got knocked up with that gremlin’s baby, but hey, maybe she loves him. I bet her face is all out whack, and that is why she’s hiding. Anyhow, Happy New Year to all of you :)

  6. I think Jesse is a smart girl! Women give it up way too easy these days. Makes it harder on all of us. Women would be better off if more of us were like Jessica as far as I’m concerned, instead of like Lindsay Lohan.

    Any sensible woman wants to “snag” a man (and he’s probably better off snagged too though he doesn’t know it) and you can use sex to help snag him. But other women are offering up sex at the drop of a hat, which reduces your leverage. Oh well. Maybe I will be an old maid. I’ll go to med school and own a lot of cats.

  7. nevermind

    i cant believe someone cant bitch about something that is as not-bitch-worthy as this… get a life! or bitch about paris hilton or som other stupid celeb but i mean you really must’ve gone out of ideas when you start gossiping about HER

  8. nevermind

    lool… funny how people can have a problem with someone hiding their face… or have an actual discussion about it xD
    how about you discuss something worthy of discussion? or better yet – get a life!

  9. double d

    UHM wow people need to get over stars.I think every woman is beautiful&&if you’re one of those people who are miserable that you don’t have “the look” donnnt worry.yr probly more attractive than celebrities I mean they’re normal people,they wear a lot of make up&&when they aren’t wearing any they’re just super photoshopped,so don’t beat yrself up.I mean jessica alba isss pretty buht look at how much make up she wears and how she has to do her hair. Maybe if you saw a star without make up and their hair did,you’d feel better because you know, HEY I’m pretty beautiful compared to those stars.so donnnttt even stress(:come on,why does everyone try so hard to be something they apparently aren’t,celebrities don’t exist,normal people who act&&get paid.

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