Pregnancy Hasn’t Made Jessica Alba Any Less Obnoxious

December 21st, 2007 // 14 Comments

It’s supposed to be the season of forgiveness, so I really should lighten up on her. Especially since she’s pregnant. But damn, look at the pained look on her face. That bag she’s carrying is probably three months of my rent! Look for the good in things. So you get a flashbulb or two in your face! At least you don’t have to worry about being able to afford a Yankee Swap gift for the office! Damn, and your acting talent is marginal! Anyway, there’s talk of Jessica Alba perhaps getting engaged to babydaddy Cash Warren. All sorts of stories are swirling about. One reports say that Jessica “doesn’t want to be pregnant in a dress” which I can understand, and is NOT engaged. Another has one of her “Fantastic Four” sequel co-stars Doug Jones referring to Cash as Jessica’s “fiance“. Keep in mind this dude was at a comic book convention when he said this and was probably realizing where his life had brought him at that moment and had gotten really drunk beforehand to cope. She probably doesn’t even know this dude’s name, so I’m going to take that one with a grain of salt. Jessica and Cash supposedly broke up this past July because Cash didn’t want to get married. Which means he’s totally challenged because isn’t he like a construction worker or something? This chick makes big bucks for doing very little. Don’t be an ass, Cash. But they reunited in August and the condom broke or something and now here we are. To Jessica’s credit, she has reportedly turned down at least three offers by various publications to photograph her while pregnant. Wow, it is Christmas. Jessica Alba just made me despite her less.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin Online

See more photos of mommy-to-be Jessica after the jump.

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. Stewie

    Hopefully having some crotch fruit will make Ms.Don’t Call Me Latina go away.

  2. Jenny Lo

    I can’t stand this spoiled, non talent, no name “actress” but at least we all get to see her FAT. Ha, can’t wait!

  3. Lori Smith

    Stop with the jealousy…Puleeze!

  4. JESSICA ALBA HAS “DEAD MEAT” INSIDE HER HEAD SO THIS GIRL SUCKS AS MUCH AS LILO!!!!

  5. I wonder if one of the paps told that one cop, “Don’t tase me, Bro!”.

    And I wonder if Jessica’s spawn will be born with herpes, since she reportedly has it.

  6. DruNken LauRen

    WTF… chica girl said “don’t call me Latina”… I outta slap that kid out of her…… J my man, did the retard really say that/???,

    well I never…. well actually i have but lets say i didnt’… LOL,

  7. DruNken LauRen

    i still can’t get over it… I can’t stand ho that say they ain’t mezcan….. I is, and damn proud of it… w/extra beans and salsa…. Gracias!!!!!!!!!!

    i’ll slap the mezcan out of her so she can be white….. i’ll slap her from her to next tuesday… but i will wait till she has the baby….

    peeps, you gots to be proud of who you iz…. no shame in the game, just be and let be… that is my matto…

  8. DruNken LauRen

    i still can’t get over it… I can’t stand ho that say they ain’t mezcan….. I is, and damn proud of it… w/extra beans and salsa…. Gracias!!!!!!!!!!

    i’ll slap the mezcan out of her so she can be white….. i’ll slap her from her to next tuesday… but i will wait till she has the baby….

    peeps, you gots to be proud of who you iz…. no shame in the game, just be and let be… that is my matto…

  9. rootabega

    hahahhaa “crotch fruit”

  10. Zekers

    …I know! That’s a new one on me too rootabega!

  11. genevieve

    She’s covering her face because she really obviously just had her lips done. They’re looking a little extra trouty!

  12. Blue Blood

    I’m not “mezcan” but I could go for some beans and salsa w/ some guacamole on the side. :-) Embrace who you are and where you come from, Jessica. Congratulations on the baby. Please get married.

    Feliz Navidad.

  13. Granger

    J.Harvey, you made my day! Celebs who refuse to smile for the papps once in a while need a slap upside the head. All the Julia Robertses, Jessica Albas and Jessica Biels need to take a pill and remember how much freakin’ money they make off ticket sales to their fans, the average Joes of the world, who wouldn’t mind a good casual photo of their idol every now and then. Julia especially. The woman makes $20 million for working all of one month of every year — and when I say “working,” I mean showing up on set and laughing that big, horse-face laugh of hers. Pisses me off.

  14. PinkWeenie

    I can’t stand her either, Granger. My all time top most despised female celebrity. I am SO pissed off she is back.

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