Jennifer Aniston And John Mayer Combine Their Boring

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have joined forces to elicit yawns. The two were spotted lunching at a Miami restaurant on Friday afternoon, and then spent Friday evening together. This shit works better than Benadryl.

What is it about Mayer, though? Are bisexual guys fascinating? This dude hooks up with everyone. Is he just some sort of star-f*cker? Can you be one if you’re a star as well?

Aniston and Mayer had the restaurant, Genuine Food & Drink, open just for them on Friday at 3:30 pm so they could dine in privacy. Miami’s a fairly flashy place, who cares? Eat with the unwashed masses! It’s not like people are going to stare at you! It would be like going outside to stare at mulch and hope a weed pokes its way through just for excitement. The general manager couldn’t wait to run to the press with the gory details.

“I can’t speculate on what kind of meeting it was but they looked happy and seemed to have a great time,” manager Charles Bell said. Bell also says they had their heads close together at one point. Have I reached REM sleep yet? Aniston had a chicken salad sandwich, but shared some of Mayer’s ham sandwich.

Mayer and Aniston hung out at South Beach restaurant Casa Tua that evening, and left before 1 AM. They returned to their hotel holding hands. It’s love. I give it three days.