Janice Dickinson Gabs On Her Cellphone

March 16th, 2007 // 8 Comments

“What? What do you mean I can’t get Botox? Do you know who I am? I’m the world’s first supermodel! No, no, SCREW CHERYL TIEGS! That bitch was passing out blowjobs in rock concert parking lots when I was at 54! So you get me some rat poison and you inject it into my face immediately or I am coming down to that office and stirring shit up and you know no one can do crazy like I can. You’ve seen my show, right? It’s on Oxygen? No, the network. For women? You don’t have cable? You poor bastard. I have a modeling agency! It’s in a mall. Anyway, I’m fully crazy and you can see it on the show. Oh christ, the paparazzi’s here. Well, it’s just a tourist who’s gonna sell the pic, but still – they’re paparazzi! Everyone wants a piece of the world’s first supermodel! NO, SCREW BEVERLY JOHNSON! AND SCREW TWIGGY! Those bitches were minor compared to me! I built this industry! And snorted it! And shot it up! And tore it in half and ate it! I did all the drugs! I slept with all the men! And women! I’ve been through the wars and you will give me Botox or I will kidnap your children! I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE JUST THE RECEPTIONIST, CAROL!”


By J. Harvey

  1. LR

    That was hysterical, well done

  2. declanium

    funny! i dislike her personally, but damned, her body is smokin’!

  3. ELH

    B1tch needs some botox in her neck, its like a freaking turkey’s.

  4. GIVC

    That was hilarious! You had me in tears. You guys are officially my home page. Well Done!

    P.S. I totally agree on the turkey neck thing!

  5. Joya

    I must say she does look fab! Ex the susan lucci turkey neck.

  6. silvarga

    re turkeyneck:

    Why has cosmetic surgery advanced so far yet they can’t do anything about the neck? wtf?

    She looks a little like Monica Belluci in that first pic. If she gets rid of that neck waddle maybe she could get a minor contract for a hot minute. Oh and that area near her arpits, that has to go too…

  7. Audrey

    omg lol that made my day!! :D

  8. Maritza

    Funny, and sad too because it sounds just like something Janice would say. Her show really rocks! I love it!

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