James Van Der Beek And His Accessories Go To The Doctor’s
James Van Der Beek is wearing what looks like the entire men’s accessories rack from American Eagle at once. He’s got the pendant, the bead bracelet, the sunglasses, and the cheap ring. Wait, that’s a wedding band.
All he’s missing is the leather thong bracelet and that damn bird icon on his tit. American Eagle is funny because it was originally trying to be the next Abercrombie & Fitch. The AE marketing team then realized that Abercrombie & Fitch is the gayest store to ever feature soft-core porn photos of teenage boys. So they quickly backpedaled as if to say, “No. No. We’re all man! We like vagine!”
Dawson is leaving a medical center in Los Angeles. Can one of you eagle-eyed readers who work in the medical profession fill me in on what he’s carting around? Is that protein? Some sort of ointment? Diaper wipes?
I wonder if he ever gets on the horn, and tries to convince Katie Holmes to make a break for it. Sometimes I really miss the Creek. I don’t miss Andie, though. That bitch was crazy and talked to dead people.