James Cameron’s Decided to Try And Destroy The Basic Tenet of Christianity

“Terminator” and “Titanic” director James Cameron is set to unveil a new documentary he shot purporting to reveal the burial site of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdelene. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna duck.

In a new documentary, Producer Cameron and his director, Simcha Jacobovici, make the starting claim that Jesus wasn’t resurrected –the cornerstone of Christian faith– and that his burial cave was discovered near Jerusalem. And, get this, Jesus sired a son with Mary Magdelene.

Let’s go back 27 years, when Israeli construction workers were gouging out the foundations for a new building in the industrial park in the Talpiyot, a Jerusalem suburb. of Jerusalem. The earth gave way, revealing a 2,000 year old cave with 10 stone caskets. Archologists were summoned, and the stone caskets carted away for examination. It took 20 years for experts to decipher the names on the ten tombs. They were: Jesua, son of Joseph, Mary, Mary, Mathew, Jofa and Judah, son of Jesua.

Seriously, kids, I’m just the messenger. Keep reading for Cameron’s plans for a press conference in NYC on Monday. With coffins. Not kidding.

Cameron and Jacobovici claim to have amassed evidence through DNA tests, archeological evidence and Biblical studies, that the 10 coffins belong to Jesus and his family.

Ever the showman, Cameron is holding a New York press conference on Monday at which he will reveal three coffins, supposedly those of Jesus of Nazareth, his mother Mary and Mary Magdalene.

Oh, THAT’S gonna go well. Jimmy, hire extra security. This ain’t the country you wanna go messing with people’s religious beliefs. I know. The Scientologists have been bugging my car. I just know it.