Jake Gyllenhaal Likes The Ladies

January 26th, 2007 // 7 Comments

According to People magazine, in the latest issue of GQ Jake Gyllenhaal speaks up about those gay rumors. Ok, he actually only speaks up about one rumor in particular. The one about how he likes to bike with Lance Armstrong and occasionally they ride bikes with no seats if you catch my drift.

“That is quite a rumor,” Jake says. “Yeah, people who are semi-well-known can’t seem to hang out without the story being that (a) one is playing the other in a movie, or (b) they’re having an affair.”

While in Vegas, someone in the know clued me in on the fact that Jake wasn’t actually gay. I refused to believe it. I mean, he hasn’t been spotted with a girl since he broke up with Dunst aeons ago. He’s always photographed doing domestic things like grocery shopping with recurring dudes. He wears a lot of spandex. But then I really thought about it. What if I was in a similar situation? I have a lot of books about serial killers. When Sharon Stone stabbed the guy to death in the beginning of Basic Instinct, I laughed so hard I began crying. I’m often photographed buying trashbags and duct tape and enough lime and hydrochloric acid to dissolve a dead body. If people really thought about it, they might think I’m a serial killer! Jake and I are one, man. We’re both victims of perception and circumstantial evidence. We’re Barnum & Bailey. Siegfried & Roy. Leopold & Loeb. What am I saying? He’s wicked gay.

By J. Harvey

  1. anon

    Got Vamp?

  2. dgo

    …is that k.d. lang?

  3. Ray

    Nobody seems to remember those pictures with Jake having his eyebrows thiner than RuPaul’s… for cher’s sake… he’s gay

  4. Dominique

    Vamp! That movie is HILARIOUS. Thank you God, for J. Harvey. This site had gotten super boring before you started posting….

  5. Michael

    “Wicked gay” says it all. He’s not a good gay, he comes off to me like a weird creepy predatory gay, just like in Brokeback Mountain. Plus he looks like a werewolf.

  6. For the record, Sharon Stone only ALLEGEDLY killed that guy in the beginning of Basic Instinct. You have no proof!

  7. krikri

    He’s not gay. it’s unbelieveble that people just can’t accept that he was a gay in Brokeback Mountain… But NOT in real life!
    Get over it and leave him alone, people!

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