Jake Gyllenhaal Could Be The Zodiac Killer And I’d Happily Let Him Kill Me And Then Write To The Cops About It Because He’s So Fine

Seriously. Jake, it’s ok. You could write about killing me in code to befuddle the cops. You’re so dreamy. Those puppydog eyes, and tousled brown hair. And your affinity for spandex. Are those space pants? Because that ass is out of this world.