It’s Still Going To Be Sorta Sad When Lusty Cons Make Him Strip For Their Smuggled-In Video Cameras And He Weeps Softly To Himself At Last Knowing What Exploitation Feels Like

Joe Francis cried and pled guilty to contempt of court yesterday, and was sentenced to 35 days in jail. Nitey nite, keep that butthole tight, Joey. NOW is the time to make sure EVERYONE knows you’ve been with Paris. And wave that Valtrex bottle high. HIGHER.

U.S. District Judge Richard Smoak in Panama City, Fla., ordered Francis to settle or face a contempt charge. After talks collapsed, Francis berated Smoak in the media, calling him a “judge gone wild.”

The judge ordered Francis to surrender April 5 to begin serving jail time for contempt, but he never showed. He instead arrived in Florida five days later and was arrested at the airport.

“I am sorry for my behavior. It was wrong,” Francis said in court, according to the Associated Press. “I had heard about appeals and things and I was confused. I am sorry, I really am.”

More details on the charges against Joe Francis are after the jump.

Francis, who claimed the women suing him had lied about their ages, has since reached a settlement. The contempt plea does not end his legal problems. A federal grand jury in Reno has also indicted Francis on charges of tax evasion.

Wait, doesn’t he own a jet? Isn’t he fairly well off? Couldn’t he afford a lawyer that would explain appeals and contempt of court and the like? What’s wrong with this picture? Nothing. Everyone thinks he’s odious, and his lawyer was probably hiding a smirk behind his briefcase as they trotted him off in cuffs. He looks fairly pudgical, so I’m sure that kind of soft cushioning is going to bring all the boys to the yard. This is what happens when you get cocky exploiting underage girls. This is like a fable except without the talking animals, and not set in China or something.

Tags: Joe Francis