It’s Still Going To Be Sorta Sad When Lusty Cons Make Him Strip For Their Smuggled-In Video Cameras And He Weeps Softly To Himself At Last Knowing What Exploitation Feels Like

April 24th, 2007 // 8 Comments

Joe Francis cried and pled guilty to contempt of court yesterday, and was sentenced to 35 days in jail. Nitey nite, keep that butthole tight, Joey. NOW is the time to make sure EVERYONE knows you’ve been with Paris. And wave that Valtrex bottle high. HIGHER.

U.S. District Judge Richard Smoak in Panama City, Fla., ordered Francis to settle or face a contempt charge. After talks collapsed, Francis berated Smoak in the media, calling him a “judge gone wild.”

The judge ordered Francis to surrender April 5 to begin serving jail time for contempt, but he never showed. He instead arrived in Florida five days later and was arrested at the airport.

“I am sorry for my behavior. It was wrong,” Francis said in court, according to the Associated Press. “I had heard about appeals and things and I was confused. I am sorry, I really am.”

More details on the charges against Joe Francis are after the jump.

Francis, who claimed the women suing him had lied about their ages, has since reached a settlement. The contempt plea does not end his legal problems. A federal grand jury in Reno has also indicted Francis on charges of tax evasion.

Wait, doesn’t he own a jet? Isn’t he fairly well off? Couldn’t he afford a lawyer that would explain appeals and contempt of court and the like? What’s wrong with this picture? Nothing. Everyone thinks he’s odious, and his lawyer was probably hiding a smirk behind his briefcase as they trotted him off in cuffs. He looks fairly pudgical, so I’m sure that kind of soft cushioning is going to bring all the boys to the yard. This is what happens when you get cocky exploiting underage girls. This is like a fable except without the talking animals, and not set in China or something.

By J. Harvey

  1. JaneSays

    If this doesn’t make one of the Top 5 of the week, nothing will! You fucking kill me, Jay. (“Nitey nite, keep that butthole tight”). But funnier is the visual of his attorney snort-laughing behind his briefcase as Joey is trotted out of the court-room. I know some snaky attorneys that would do just that if they had him for a client. They’d let him rack up legal fees then let him hang himself with his narcissisticly shitty attitude. Those chipmunk cheeks of his are going to get a major workout for sure!

  2. mkithrt

    i bet his lawyer’s daughter was one of joe’s conquests.

    love me some karma!

  3. bubbleTate

    is it wrong of me to think this guy looks cute, even tho he’s an asshole perv? *bites lip*

  4. Bunny

    Fantastic! What a story…A fable BWAH>>>

  5. Jry

    the only thing I can look at this moron and say is, BAD RHINOPLASTY.

  6. TxBearCub

    Funny – love the butt hole tight comment. While the guy is def a sleaze, i still hold the “girls” guilty as well. Come on – I’m drinking (underage or not), i’m partying and some guy wants me to take pictures and show my stuff – OK LET’S DO IT! Sorry, i’m not going to let you off the hook. It is a major problem where people don’t take responsibility for their own actions, but look for someone /thing to blame. You drank, you got drunk, you showed stuff, you’re embarrassed, DEAL WITH IT. Next time – lets see, hmmm, dont get drunk.

  7. Tatianna

    It is true society today seems lacking in the ‘personal responsibility’ department (something that normally drives me mad!)…

    If adult women want to embarrass themselves by getting sloppy drunk and flashing their bits, then go for it but don’t whine about it afterwards when you get a freaking clue.

    That being said, allegedly the women involved in the mentioned suit are not of legal age and therefore are not able to make this type of decision for themselves (It is irrelevant if WE think otherwise because our laws say differently).

    There is a very real and valid reason why we have age limits for drinking, voting and having sex. Because the MAJORITY of children/teens do not have the maturity nor the ability to make sound choices with regards to these activities.

    If they are underage, then they legally cannot be held liable for any signed waivers or contract. Both would be null and void.

    The fact is Girls Gone Wild will continue to make millions as long as there is a demand for (and we as women allow it) exploiting women.

    In the meantime some of us can only hope Joe gets his real payback from his new neighbours in jail.

    FYI- Neighbours is spelled correctly if you are Canadian and I am :)

  8. Smelly

    Save the personal responsibility bullshit. He was exploiting underaged girls. Not adult women. He’s a rapist and a pig.

    Unless you’re misogyny keeps you warm at night, wake the fuck up.

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