Irritating Guy Gets Married

Who is this person? What has he done? Why is he popular? Oh, wait, he was on ANTM trying to teach the potential models how to do improv comedy. Is that his bit? Whatever, he seems cocky. Anyway, he supposedly got married . At 24. That’ll last. Wow, I’m drinking Haterade this morning. I need to sheathe these claws.

But rapper-comic Nick Cannon may have actually married his girl of the moment, Selita Ebanks, last weekend in Las Vegas. The two got carried away and walked down the quickie aisle, according to rumors. But friends of the couple say, “That sounds unlikely.” A pal of Ebanks laughed, “She just spent Valentine’s Day with another guy who got her all this stuff from Tiffany and Cartier. She’s a player and just having fun since she signed her $17 million contract with Victoria’s Secret.” A rep for Cannon declined comment until she could reach him.

Britney’s quiet in rehab since the umbrella attack, and Anna’s burial site has been decided. It’s gonna be a slow news day unless Paris spontaneously combusts or something, kids.

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Tags: Nick Cannon