I Need To Befriend Aniston

Jennifer Aniston is reported to be the best friend you’ll ever have. She foots the bill. All the time. And buys you gifts! You don’t need to do that, Jenny! We’d still love you if you worked at the snack counter at Tar-jhay. It’s what’s inside that counts!

“Jennifer pays for everything all the time,” insider tells Star. “If she plans a vacation, you know she’s footing the bill for her entire entourage.”

“Jen’s assistant books it all,” the insider continues. “The planes, the cars, the hotels, the meals, the activities, the spa services, the clothes they wear on vacation, the cocktails – it’s so over the top! She’s like the sugar daddy everyone wishes they had, except she’s a woman! You could call her sugar mama!”


That’s deep. Oh, how you talk. Keep reading for details on how the sources thinks that Jennifer’s bitches are preventing her from finding true love because they want to keep the gravy train a’rollin.

But is her open-pocket policy costing Jen her happiness? “Her friends really enjoy themselves, but I bet they’re afraid that she’ll find a serious boyfriend,” the insider says. “That means no more free trips for them – and that’s why they seem to be hard on her dates. I’m sure they were brutal with her last boyfriend, Paul Sculfor.”

I’m going to get chick-lit catchphrase here for a second but those are some damn FRENEMIES! She needs to get over The Most Beautiful Woman In The World stealing her husband, and they’re supposed to be helping her not sucking off her “Friends” money tit! She needs to off-load some leeches. She can still give nice gifts if she has a man in her bed. Damn. People are malevolent.