Heidi Montag Would Rather Die Than Not Have Big Boobs

Gracing the cover of Us Weekly, Heidi Montag posed for the cover shoot with a big smile on her face. In her interview, Heidi talked about the plastic surgery she’s had–a nose job and breast implants–and how any fears she had about surgery weren’t enough to deter her, even on the day she was scheduled to go under the knife.

“I woke up, and it was like Christmas: I was a nervous wreck, but I was just so excited at the same time. Spencer said, “I’m so proud of you.” It was like he was wishing me well off to school: “Love you! Bye!” But surgery is a very big deal. Right before I went in, I was like, What if I don’t wake up? Oh, this is scary. Then I thought, I don’t care. If I don’t wake up, it’s worth it. I just wanted it so badly.”

It’s just such a shame that after all the trouble she’s gone to get them, those knockers of hers can’t help her to sing or dance any better, as we’ve clearly seen. But at least now that she has her body the way she wants it, we can really go to town on her horribly under-developed personality.