Heidi Montag: Three Martini Thursday

December 18th, 2008 // 2 Comments

This Thursday, we’re offering our weekly triple dose of alcohol to the possibly married and done so under suspicious circumstances star of The Hills, Heidi Montag.

The more we learn details about Heidi’s sham wedding to Spencer Pratt, the more obvious it becomes that Montag is getting in way over her head. She was drunk on tequila when she agreed to wed Pratt in Mexico and might not even actually be legally married to the bearded harbinger of reality television doom.

Basically, we’re hoping these martinis give Heidi the courage to stand up to Spencer, stop getting plastic surgery, realize the emotional distress she’s caused her parents and START ACTING RIGHT.

If there’s a chance these drinks might be the much needed slap to the face and “Woman, get a HOLD of yourself!” that Heidi so desperately needs, then we gladly slosh these three martinis her way. And if not, then we’re hoping she’s already pregnant and that the alcohol impedes the satanic powers of Spencer’s demon seed.

Click on any photo for the 10+ photos of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt.


This Thursday, we’re offering our weekly triple dose of alcohol to the
possibly married and done so under suspicious circumstances star of The Hills, Heidi Montag.

The more we learn details about Heidi’s sham wedding to Spencer Pratt, the more obvious it becomes that Montag is getting in way over her head. She was drunk on tequila when she agreed to wed Pratt in Mexico and might not even actually be legally married to the bearded harbinger of reality television doom.

Basically, we’re hoping these martinis give Heidi the courage to stand
up to Spencer, stop getting plastic surgery, realize the emotional
distress she’s caused her parents and START ACTING RIGHT.

If there’s a chance these drinks might be the much needed slap to the
face and “Woman, get a HOLD of yourself!” that Heidi so desperately
needs, then we gladly slosh these three martinis her way. And if not,
then we’re hoping she’s already pregnant and that the alcohol impedes
the satanic powers of Spencer’s demon seed.

By Lisa Timmons
asl

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  2. Martiniman

    Bless you Lisa, as its clear that like Katie, she is being held against her will. While you’re mixing, I’ll take one of those myself!

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