Heidi Montag Declares ‘Fashion’

Yay! She knows her name! And a word!

It’s fashion! Heidi Montag’s new single entitled “Fashion” sounds like what would happen if Special Needs Barbie were magically granted the ability to talk. After listening to this, I’m now convinced that the poor thing can’t actually read.

She attempts to adapt some sort of cutesy accent while listing high-end designer labels, each of whom should sue this dimwit for mangling their names so badly. To be fair, trying to talk with those horse veneers in her mouth probably makes for crummy diction.

We condone listening to this in order to understand what we’re making fun of it, but under no circumstances is anyone allowed to purchase this shit. Unless you have pigeons on your ledge who refuse to leave and you need something to scare them away.