“Hooker Shoes? You Shouldn’t Have!”

February 15th, 2008 // 30 Comments

God, where’s a submarine launching a torpedo when you need one? Here’s plastics Heidi Montag and odious on-again/off-again fiance Spencer Twat…Pratt on some dumb sailboat, whoring themsleves out for Valentine’s Day. Spencer got her ass some Payless stroll heels. And don’t bag on me, I shop at Payless so I know their shite. They’re on some “Oyster” yacht in Marina Del Ray. Seriously, couldn’t they have inspired “Perfect Storm 2″ once they set sail? Or “Open Water”? Allegedly, those are Jimmy Choos. Except if you look closely, they read “Jimmy Chews.”

Check out more photo-friendly prostitution at PacificCoastNewsOnline.com.

Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com

12 more photos of Heidi and Spencer are after the jump.

(Hint – Right-click on the image thumbnails with your mouse to open them in a new tab or window.)

Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com

By J. Harvey

  1. They’re not even trying anymore. Except to be sure that all labels are facing the camera.

  2. Sickening. Every friggen thing they do is a photo op. How I wish that boat would sink. I’m surprised they don’t have sex on Entertainment Tonight so we can all gag. Maybe we’ll see Larry and Danilynne come out from the bow

  3. T-Bone

    They are both so gross! Seriously! Does she really think he loves her? If she got fat, or fell ill, or something like that, does she really believe this guy would stay? These two have about as much depth as wading pool.

  4. IK

    its clearly staged…
    btw those are jimmy choo shoes not payless shoes, if you saw them at payless there probably knock offs.

  5. spaz

    these two DEFINE “media whore”.

  6. jeffro

    Everything with this bimbo is a photo shoot, every move a pose…she’s like a Mariah Carey with a huge jaw and no talent.

  7. 2 Old 4 This

    and yet, we keep hearing Heidi complain about Lauren Conrad “going Hollywood”

    Hello Pot? This is the Kettle. You’re Black!

  8. Sassygirl

    oh look it’s her big gaping hole of a mouth wide open again. for eff sake shut it!! these two ‘tards make me wanna hurl.

  9. stolidog

    Ah, Open Water III, where heidi and spence fall overboard while the boat is still docked in the marina and everyone gathers around and stamps on their fingers every time they try to climb out of the water, until they eventually drown. Look for it in theaters Christmas, 2009.

  10. cestmoi

    To you T-Bone – re:Does she really think he loves her?
    Adn any others who feel this way and wonder why Heidi so som dumb that she can’t figure it out. Hellooooo, you’re so stupid you think even the smallest particle of this “relationship” is real.

  11. cestmoi

    To you T-Bone – re: Does she really think he loves her?
    And any others who feel this way and wonder why Heidi is so dumb that she can’t figure it out. Hellooooo, you’re so stupid you think even the smallest particle of this “relationship” is real.

  12. To cestmoi

    Calm down, Heidi, and thanks for stopping by ASL. If I were as stupid as you I’d be fighting hard to defend my honor too.

  13. Hmmmmm

    haha, great comment about the submarine launching torpedo!!!

    They look like ken and barbie to me, yuck!!! even G.I. Joe would even be willing to launch the torpedo to save America from this couple that seem to gross out everyone, but themselves.

  14. Sue

    I’ve seen these two. As sad as it is to say, they’re in a real relationship.

  15. Persistent Cat

    Here’s a thought. Don’t post their pictures. At the next bloggers cabal meeting, make a pact. No more of that nonsense (along with Bobby Trendy and that girl/guy who cried about Britney). They are media whores but if they get no attention, they’ll go away.

  16. keely

    omg…these two are pathetic…they will do anything to have there picture taken…they are whoring there lives out for 15 min of fame…soooo hurting!!!!

  17. essie

    If they are so awful and plastic and everybody knows the relationship is a set up, WHY do blogs bother to publish their photos??? I don’t understand!!

  18. spaz

    looking at the pics again, I can’t help but notice that neither one of them EVER has their back to the camera. I mean, really, who stands BEHIND the person they’re giving a gift to? And leans over like that?

    it’s as if they’ve employed a personal photog/pap to take picks of them and “leak” them.

  19. T-Bone

    These guys are definitely selling their relationship to the highest bidder, but that doesn’t mean their relationship is fake, cestmoi. It just means they’re shallow A$$holes.

  20. maura

    Look at the length of toes. Seriously, the one next to her “big” toe is freakishly long. It looks like a finger. Check it out, picture 9 (i think) after the jump…

    And who wears flip flops on a sail boat anyways?

  21. ha ha on heidi

    Jimmy Choo should slap her – sales will now plummet.

  22. Kelly

    She’s holding that 50 pound bunch of roses in almost every picture. And in most of others, the bottle of Crystal is empty and the ice in the bucket is melted. Looks like they might have taken a while to get that perfect ‘natural’ shot. The definition of TOOLS!

  23. loves lc

    Heidi, lose 140 ugly pounds! dump him! you’d still be on ‘the hills’ and better off if you didn’t have him. plus, you would have scored with brody…like everyone else. 1 night with brody has to be better than 1 year with spent-her.

  24. Stickler

    I blame MTV for getting them started. They might have tried for this Z-list celebrity-thing before the show, but I doubt it would’ve worked before the show. Agh! They look like the pictures of people in magazines shilling crap. Oh wait, that’s what they’re doing right now.

  25. green cardigan

    stolidog ! I love it.
    Open Water III. Revenge of the Twats.

    What a pair. Look at them there in front of the mast, him slobbing on her neck, and sails down all around them on deck.Useless f@!kers. And the boat is still tied up to the dock. Did they even go out sailing? Or did they oooh and aaahhh over the shoes and glug champers for the afternoon instead?
    I’d love if they went out and got caught in 45 knots of an on shore wind, engine out, and they had no choice but to crawl to the front of the deck and drag the sails down themselves (‘Spencey, my mani!’), while waves broke over their heads as they were violently seasick.

    I find that image soothing!

  26. mojoman

    Persistent Cat, I absolutely second that!! The Bloggers should banish/ignore them completely. No mention about the Hills, Lauren or anything that is associated with these 2 media whores.

  27. cupid92

    PLEASE stop posting about these two. If no one posts on them, maybe they will go away. Looking at his face is painful so early in the morning.

  28. catherine

    the commentary on that was pretty funny. thanks for the great humor. i am very very sick of tweedle dee and tweedle dum also.

  29. mari_p

    WHY are they a photo op?? WHY?????!?!?!??!?!?!?

  30. Danielle

    My God I hate these two! I don’t think I’ve ever felt the desire to kill someone as much as I do when I see these two fake asses! So ridiculous. And what’s worse is the people that are taking their picture and/or putting them in magazines. Who gives a crap about these ugly talentless people!?!?!?

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