Heidi Montag Shows Us Her Scars

Well, well, well…it was only time before Heidi Montag would come to her senses and realize that her experiments in plastic surgery would be regrettable. “Parts of my body definitely look worse than they did pre-surgery. This is not what I signed up for,” she tells Life & Style magazine in an exclusive interview given to PopEater.

“The big dark mark from my chin reduction is probably the most noticeable. But the absolute worst is on my breasts, and the scariest is below my butt cheek,” she explains.

PHOTOS: Heidi Montag Loses Her Top. No, Literally

“People have fewer scars from car accidents than I have on my body,” Montag adds. What drives me nuts is that she acts like she wants sympathy but no, she deserves none. Sure it sucks that it was crap, but c’mon – who ELECTED to get all that work done? You, ya dumb bitch.

“I would love to not be ‘plastic girl’ or whatever they call me. Surgery ruined my career and my personal life and just brought a lot of negativity into my world. I wish I could jump into a time machine and take it all back. Instead, I’m always going to feel like Edward Scissorhands.”

Her career? Don’t make me laugh.

All told, Montag underwent 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day. Well, you get what you pay for.