Heather Mills Is Lowdown


Heather Mills’s not afraid to roll her ass in the mud. She’s allegedly going to start claiming that Paul McCartney’s parenting skills drove two of his kids to attempt to stick their heads in the oven . That’s my Sylvia Plath reference to indicate that they supposedly tried to commit suicide. You know, the Bell Jar? See, I read things! Sometimes.

“Paul is asking for full custody of their child, Beatrice,” a friend of Mills told us. “Heather is furious. There is no way she would ever, ever agree to that.”

Mills is so desperate to keep Beatrice that she is prepared to make the outrageous and unsubstantiated claim to a London divorce court that Paul was such “a bad father” to two of his children with Linda McCartney that they considered taking their own lives. McCartney has four adult children from his happy marriage to Linda – Heather, Mary, Stella and James.

There is no evidence that any McCartney child has ever considered committing suicide. All of his adult children have always said how much they love and admire their father – and come out against Mills.

Heather has also fired her divorce attorneys, feeling that she could do a “better job”. You know what they say – one-legged fool for a client. God, and I had gotten so far without mentioning the wooden leg. Seriously though, she appears to be full-on evil so I’m acting on behalf of karma here.