Harrison Ford’s Ex Gets $118 Million. That’s Still Not Enough.

January 21st, 2004 // Leave a Comment

Melissa Mathison was robbed! $118,000,000 is not nearly enough cash to compensate for 20 years of putting up with the most boring celebrity on the planet. You could fall asleep just looking at Harrison Ford, let alone sit through a conversation or an interview.

Yes I know that Ford is always stoned out of his mind – but you would think that it would make him more interesting than dull. I mean Silent Bob never talked, was stoned out of his mind, and he was ten times more interesting than Harrison Ford. At least he’s found solace in the equally boring Calista Flockhart. I can just imagine a conversation between the two of them.

Flockhart: “Do you want some of this Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food?”

Ford: “You’re eating?” Do you like my earing?

Flockhart: “Ha ha ha ha he he he he.”

Ford: “What?”

Flockhart: “I like snow.”

Ford: “Yeh.”

Or something like that. Please, please don’t let them reproduce! Harrista is all this world can take.

By Miu von Furstenberg
asl

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