Happy Gays are Here Again

June 21st, 2007 // 4 Comments

June is Homosexual History Month.

Somewhere, out there on the inter-tubes, you’ll find a well-intentioned, queerical obsessed do-gooder who will inform you how gay history changed one June morning.

But let’s keep it simple, sugar – remedial
rainbow*
, so to speak:

June
1969

A
nation at war.

NYC

No Starbucks.
No Whole Foods. No hope.

Judy
Garland

Diagnosed dead.

The
Gays

Drunk. Drunker.
Drunkest.

The
Po-Po

Belligerently
assholic.

A
Drag Queen

PIG,
let go my wig!”

Tempers

Flared.

Mascara

Ran….and so
did the cops when
a
riotous melee ensued

We gays have come a long way from those days, although we still wax our pecs. Still, there’s much to celebrate — whether its gay proms
or gay moms or Uncle Thoms who’ll adopt a Guatemalan brother and sister and
name them Will and Grace.

And for you uppity Tom (Ford) fronting bitches, never forget that modern gay history
began in a badly-lit barroom brawl steeped in the stench of piss, regret and poppers.

And while dip-shittery, douche-baggery and the D-Listed, D-cupped décolletage of drugged-up debutantes is today’s latest gay rage – we must still honor our past.

The
good news is that since we
am what we is
, we can keep it fresh….and kind of zany!

That’s
why, in this homo-rific holiday season, I’d like to share the charming, clever,
and completely off-kilter antics of JudyCast.
I puddle in my slacks every time I tune in!

Created by Bill Phair (today
is his birthday, by the way) these podcasts are a surreal one man show, offering
scads of vocal-stylings, well-crafted editing, brilliant zingers and a certain…après
queenery.

Is that the right expression? Oh, I dunno…I’m struggling to find the right words…and my pills.

Anyway, it’s like an old-school radio show – but radio, totally two-point-Oh!!!!!

Phair channels Judy Garland, Bernadette Peters, Pia Zadora, Ike Turner, Carol Channing and Gollum….um yeah, Gollum….I’m not kidding. And the results are simply marvelous (say it with a slur for added effect).

You may have to brush up on your old-school faggotry before downloading these podcasts – think Lerner And Lowe and eight-dollar blow.

And be proud that you’re free to flip your collars and flop your flips coz’ Dorothy o.d.’ed and a ticked-off tranny took on some tear gas.

Do it for yourself.

Do it for Judy.

Now get your earbuds out of TMZ’s ass, fagling.

It’s time for a real show.

- – - – -

A few of the most recent episodes:

June’s Episode: Bernadette Peter’s cover of She Bop closes the show

Episode 21: Oscar de la Raspberry. Favorite line, “Welcome to Non-Sequiturs Anonymous.”

Episode 20: Judy Garland’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” — Judy and Golum cover Gnarls

- – - – -

*Before y’all get feisty about this rainbow shit, the original flag had eight colors. Look it up.

  1. JudyCast is, quite simply, one of the main reasons why I have broadband internet.

  2. Mizarkey

    I so agree. The brilliance of Bill in capturing Judy’s razor-sharp wit and defiance is what makes the show so special. The show is a real treat and a blast.

  3. Loob

    “I puddle in my slacks”

    Ohmigod, I can’t stop laughing at that! I have to adopt the phrase.

    Dang, I wish I had broadband internet. :(

  4. valski

    Who else but the gays would include light blue in their rainbow?

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