Happy Birthday, Bitch! – Samantha Ronson

August 7th, 2008 // 6 Comments

Put another record on, it’s Samantha Ronson‘s birthday! The rangy, skunk-haired, cigarette butt-baggin’ lesbian DJ who has gnawed her way into ALL our hearts as Lindsay Lohan‘s companion turns 31 today.

I didn’t realize that she was so much older than the 22 year-old Miz Lohan. 31 is also the amount of months that Lindsay will wear one pair of leggings. It’s some kinda craziness.

One thing you can say about Ms. Ronson. She hitched her wagon to the right star. Lindsay doesn’t work that much. But hanging around her slut ass seems to have landed DJ Sammy an abundance of disc spinning. And that’s how you work the system.

I hope Linds got her a carton of cigarettes for her birthday. As well as some spirited cunnilingus.


Put another record on, it’s Samantha Ronson‘s birthday! The rangy, skunk-haired, cigarette butt-baggin’ lesbian DJ who has gnawed her way into ALL our hearts as Lindsay Lohan‘s companion turns 31 today.I
didn’t realize that she was so much older than the 22 year-old Miz
Lohan. 31 is also the amount of months that Lindsay will wear one pair
of leggings. It’s some kinda craziness.One thing you can say
about Ms. Ronson. She hitched her wagon to the right star. Lindsay
doesn’t work that much. But hanging around her slut ass seems to have
landed DJ Sammy an abundance of disc spinning. And that’s how you work
the system.I hope Linds got her a carton of cigarettes for her birthday. As well as some spirited cunnilingus.

By J. Harvey
  1. Ava

    I can’t wait until those two break-up and Ronson sells her out and starts talking all kinds of shit about Lindsay.

  2. Snow Pie

    SaMANtha is a wuss. She’s afraid of food. She fears gaining weight.

    So, what we want to know is what will she lose, what won’t happen, what is the big tragedy if she were to gain weight and look normal?

    I fear that she believes she’s better than Lowhand and thinks she will outsmart Lowhand and ultimately find out that she is not Lowhand’s equal and fly into a rage and assault her or worse poison her the way Anna was poisoned by a religious nutcase when he found out that he would never get her kind of money or fame through LEGITIMATE entertainment work.

  3. Nathiest

    FUCK YOU POS MOTHER FUCKER! I’M SORRY YOU WHERE MADE TO SUFFER YOU MOMMA’S DICK ALL THE WHILE WISHES IT WAS YOUR DADDY’S FOR ALL THOSE YEARS AS A INBREED WORTHLESS BRAT BUT THAT DOES GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BE SUCH A NASTY SHIT TOWARDS WOMEN ESPECIALLY ON THEIR BIRTHDAY…PRICK!

    Happy B-Day Sam baby!!!!

  4. Zelda F.

    WHAT????

  5. roxierox

    She’s 31?! Wow! that came as a shock to me. I wonder when she’s going to stop dressing like that.

  6. SweetSoprano

    Snow Pie AND Nathiest…………………………………………………………………….

    WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!

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