Happy Birthday, Bitch! – Macaulay Culkin

August 26th, 2008 // 10 Comments

Macaulay Culkin is 28 today. He’s sort of an actor /bad novelist who probably lives off his Home Alone money. I dig Macaulay, not because he was in Home Alone because those movies were offal and John Hughes’ downfall. But mainly because he played Michael Alig in Party Monster, which is one of my favorite bad movies of all time. He was so joyously queer, and trying to be edgy and running around in hot pants with brains affixed to his head and delighting in his evil Club Kid persona.

To be honest, half the battle was fought by Seth Green who played a mean James St. James. But Mac really gave it his all. You could kinda sense that he had been through a lot in his life – child star, way too many siblings, fucked up parents – and just wanted to his freak flag fly.

The real Michael Alig should get down on his knees and kiss Mac’s feet when he gets out of jail for making him into an almost lovable Disney character. Well, a Disney character who did a lot of heroin.

Money! Success! Fame! Glamour!


Macaulay Culkin is 28 today. He’s sort of an actor /bad novelist who probably lives off his Home Alone money. I dig Macaulay, not because he was in Home Alone because those movies were offal and John Hughes’ downfall. But mainly because he played Michael Alig in Party Monster,
which is one of my favorite bad movies of all time. He was so joyously
queer, and trying to be edgy and running around in hot pants with
brains affixed to his head and delighting in his evil Club Kid persona.
To be honest, half the battle was fought by Seth Green who played a mean James St. James.
But Mac really gave it his all. You could kinda sense that he had been
through a lot in his life – child star, way too many siblings, fucked
up parents – and just wanted to his freak flag fly.The real
Michael Alig should get down on his knees and kiss Mac’s feet when he
gets out of jail for making him into an almost lovable Disney
character. Well, a Disney character who did a lot of heroin.

Money! Success! Fame! Glamour!

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. therealdana

    You wrote:
    “he was in Home Alone because those movies were offal and John Hughes’ downfall.” —- is the word “offal” supposed to be “awful”????? Jeeesh! That’s not even close!!! Did you take a blow to the head while writing this post?

  2. Max

    To give J Harvey credit,the defination offal,

    offal: “the parts of a butchered animal that are considered inedible by human beings; carrion, refuse; rubbish; garbage”

    In which case, ‘yes’ home alone was offal, ‘waste’

    Good use of literary license J Harv!

  3. Max

    To give J Harvey credit,the defination offal,

    offal: “the parts of a butchered animal that are considered inedible by human beings; carrion, refuse; rubbish; garbage”

    In which case, ‘yes’ home alone was offal, ‘waste’

    Good use of literary license J Harv!

  4. Max

    To give J Harvey credit,the defination offal,

    offal: “the parts of a butchered animal that are considered inedible by human beings; carrion, refuse; rubbish; garbage”

    In which case, ‘yes’ home alone was offal, ‘waste’

    Good use of literary license J Harv!

  5. Max

    To give J Harvey credit,the definition offal,

    offal: “the parts of a butchered animal that are considered inedible by human beings; carrion, refuse; rubbish; garbage”

    In which case, ‘yes’ home alone was offal, ‘waste’

    Good use of literary license J Harv!

  6. Your Mama

    He was also really good in Saved, which surpised me because I expected (and wanted) to hate his Home Alone ass.

  7. Zekers

    Good call Max!

    Since no one can throw anything at me…Home Alone is one of my favorite Christmas movies.

  8. Stupid scrod lover

    Macaulay is kinda bad ass, and I love Party Monster. Seth Green as James St. James was priceless. Boosh!

  9. Galaxy

    “That which is thrown away as worthless or unfit for use; refuse; rubbish.” is a more fitting definition for offal.

    therealdana you got pwned!

  10. Cat34
    Commented on this photo:

    You leave him ALONE he’s perfect now he dose not do DRUGS any
    more so DONT BE MEAN TO HIM he’s got a good life he’s in a band
    and you ALL KNOW guys are so AWESOME when there in a band
    anyway don’t be mean just because you hate him have so like for him
    I mean he’s Kevin from home alone and he knew Mic Jackson so pls
    HAVE SOME LOVE FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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