Happy Birthday, Bitch! – JC Chasez

August 8th, 2008 // Leave a Comment

JC Chasez is 32 today! Happy birthday, queen! You might know him better as the “closeted one” from N*SYNC. I wonder if he and Lance Bass ever talked about it.

JC: You can’t come out.
Lance: Why the hell not? Perez already outed me! And I can make bank! Everyone loves the gays nowadays!
JC: But I dont’ want to come out!
Lance: So YOU don’t HAVE TO!
JC: Yeah, but they’re gonna wonder….
Lance: Listen, people barely remember your ass! You’re about one step up from the dude with the hair beads! You should come out, too! Maybe we can tour or something.
JC: You SUCK! You’re ruining the band!
Lance: What band? The guy with the hair beads is working as a janitor and Joey’s hosting the red carpet with Lisa Rinna and her swollen anus lips. 
(pause)
Look, he’s NOT COMING BACK. And it was only one time and he was drunk!
JC: “Sexyback” is about me!


JC Chasez is 32 today! Happy birthday, queen! You might know him better as the “closeted one” from N*SYNC. I wonder if he and Lance Bass ever talked about it.

JC: You can’t come out.
Lance: Why the hell not? Perez already outed me! And I can make bank! Everyone loves the gays nowadays!
JC: But I dont’ want to come out!
Lance: So YOU don’t HAVE TO!
JC: Yeah, but they’re gonna wonder….
Lance: Listen, people barely remember your ass! You’re about one step
up from the dude with the hair beads! You should come out, too! Maybe
we can tour or something.
JC: You SUCK! You’re ruining the band!
Lance: What band? The guy with the hair beads is working as a janitor
and Joey’s hosting the red carpet with Lisa Rinna and her swollen anus
lips. 
(pause)
Look, he’s NOT COMING BACK. And it was only one time and he was drunk!
JC: “Sexyback” is about me!

By J. Harvey
asl

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