Happy Birthday, Bitch! – Dean Cain

Superman is 42 today. Dean Cain’s hot ass first came to light when he played the dude that Brenda Walsh met in France when the shadowy bitch was posing as an actual Frenchwoman. Then she toured him around the city, and he was so dumb that he fell for her bullshit French accent.

Eventually, there was an awesome confrontation between Brenda and Dean and Dylan and Kelly at a restaurant, in which Brenda called Kelly a “whore.” Well, she was. Dean tried to keep the peace, but Brenda and Kelly can’t be in the same room without one of those slags pulling a verbal switchblade. God, I’m so set for 90210.

Oh, yeah, it’s Dean’s birthday. Anyway, he went on to play Superman in a really crappy ABC series that focused on him romancing Teri Hatcher’s Lois Lane. Why a man that looks that good in tights would ever want to suck on a hatchet face, I’ll never know.

Dean also played the “bimbo” role in a really cheesy gay movie called The Broken Hearts Club that you sorta have to watch whenever it’s on. It’s kind of like a film-length Afterschool Special about all the various “problems” homos face. Unfortunately, there wasn’t any “Dean does anal” scenes in the movie which I’m sure was a disappointment to the Academy.

Anyway, now Dean’s one of those dudes who pops up on guest roles on TV and is trying to hang on to the remnants of fame. Don’t fret Dean. You’ve got more than a remnant of a boner from me, hot ass.

Click any photo to view all 25+ photos of Dean Cain in the gallery!


Superman is 42 today. Dean Cain’s hot ass first came to light
when he played the dude that Brenda Walsh met in France when the
shadowy bitch was posing as an actual Frenchwoman. Then she toured him
around the city, and he was so dumb that he fell for her bullshit
French accent.

Eventually, there was an awesome confrontation between Brenda and Dean
and Dylan and Kelly at a restaurant, in which Brenda called Kelly a
“whore.” Well, she was. Dean tried to keep the peace, but Brenda and
Kelly can’t be in the same room without one of those slags pulling a
verbal switchblade. God, I’m so set for 90210.

Oh, yeah, it’s Dean’s birthday. Anyway, he went on to play Superman in a really crappy ABC series that focused on him romancing Teri Hatcher’s Lois Lane. Why a man that looks that good in tights would ever want to suck on a hatchet face, I’ll never know.

Dean also played the “bimbo” role in a really cheesy gay movie called The Broken Hearts Club
that you sorta have to watch whenever it’s on. It’s kind of like a
film-length Afterschool Special about all the various “problems” homos
face. Unfortunately, there wasn’t any “Dean does anal” scenes in the
movie which I’m sure was a disappointment to the Academy.

Anyway, now Dean’s one of those dudes who pops up on guest roles on TV
and is trying to hang on to the remnants of fame. Don’t fret Dean.
You’ve got more than a remnant of a boner from me, hot ass.Click any photo to view all 25+ photos of Dean Cain in the gallery!