Happy Birthday, Bitch! – Billy Ray Cyrus

August 25th, 2008 // 3 Comments

Highlights wearer Billy Ray Cyrus is 47 today. Many of you might know him from back when he was twerkin’ a mullet and doing the broken heart shitkicker stomp or whatever the hell it was. Others among you might realize his is the sperm that produced aspiring softcore porn star and mean girl Miley Cyrus! Yes, his are the loins that probably shot off while using the bench seat of a pick-up truck and that Hannah Montage were created from. That bastard.

Wasn’t her name like Destiny Hope or some mess like that? Is that why she’s slowly going insane? Toiling through your formative years initially being called “Destiny” has to be kick in the gums.

Billy’s got that whole Bon Jovi dad look. I don’t like when men over 40 have highlights and razor cut their hair and use flat irons. I would be embarrassed if my pop rolled up like that. I’d have to tell people he was my publicist or my florist or someone.

Click any photo to view all 15 photos of Billy Ray Cyrus in the gallery!


Highlights wearer Billy Ray Cyrus is 47 today. Many of you might
know him from back when he was twerkin’ a mullet and doing the broken
heart shitkicker stomp or whatever the hell it was. Others among you
might realize his is the sperm that produced aspiring softcore porn star and mean girl Miley Cyrus!
Yes, his are the loins that probably shot off while using the bench
seat of a pick-up truck and that Hannah Montage were created from. That
bastard.Wasn’t her name like Destiny Hope or some mess like
that? Is that why she’s slowly going insane? Toiling through your
formative years initially being called “Destiny” has to be kick in the
gums.Billy’s got that whole Bon Jovi dad look. I don’t like
when men over 40 have highlights and razor cut their hair and use flat
irons. I would be embarrassed if my pop rolled up like that. I’d have
to tell people he was my publicist or my florist or someone.Check out all 15 photos of Billy Ray Cyrus in the gallery!

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. Heidi (not Montag)

    I never thought anything could make me long for his achy breaky big mistakey mullet but his hair now just creeps me out.
    I’d love to see some pictures of the hillbilly hoe down that his party is sure to be;
    moonshine in Dixie cups, pork rinds and moonpies.

  2. Heidi (not Montag)

    I never thought anything could make me long for his achy breaky big mistakey mullet but his hair now just creeps me out.
    I’d love to see some pictures of the hillbilly hoe down that his party is sure to be;
    moonshine in Dixie cups, pork rinds and moonpies.

  3. rachael

    thatz so mean i love him and miley

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