Guy Nervous for Madonna’s Safety

According to The Sun:

Guy Ritchie has begged Madonna to tighten security after threats from Russian gangsters to kidnap her and their two kids. The Queen Of Pop is being targeted by ruthless heavies who don’t want her controversial Confessions Tour to go ahead in Moscow next month. A series of sinister warnings that Madge, son Rocco and daughter Lourdes could be snatched have been sent direct to her management in a bid to stop her performing. But Madge is determined not to let a security scare get the better of her — despite hubby Guy and her tour manager Chris Lamb’s grave concerns. A source said: “Madonna is well aware of the kidnap threats but she is brave and even a little nonchalant when it comes to her own safety.

Madonna’s all, “Guy, honey, I think it’s very sweet that you’re concerned for my safety. But you have to understand, I can literally kill a man with my vagina. Seriously. My last gynecologist didn’t really move away to spend the rest of his days on a farm. I just didn’t want to admit to you that I accidentally sneezed during a pap smear and killed him with the sheer force of my crazy vagina yoga strength. My crotch is a registered weapon.”

Written by Lisa Timmons

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