Don’t listen to the naysayers, Tim Tebow. You just keep on being the wholesome lad your mama raised you to be, and keep believing that your Lord and Savior is helping you out in the fourth quarter of every game. You’re adorable. You’re innocent. You claim to splurge on vanilla ice cream once a week.
Your ass is tight (and mighty fine-looking), your smile is genuine and those muscles….those are some big arms. Though I wish you the best of luck today against the Patriots, you’re probably going to lose. Why? Because Tom Brady doesn’t need a prayer. He’s practically related to God.