If there is anyone out there that is not watching HBO’s Girls, please crawl out from that comfy rock you’ve been living under and get with the program!
This episode of Lena Dunham’s raw realistic masterpiece was the best one to date and if I watched it one thousand times I would still laugh my ass off. After last week’s relationship debacle, Hannah is up for a little adventure and instead she gives us a boat load!
Hannah shows up to an interview with an online blog called ‘jazzhate’, but seen realizes that it’s freelance work and the boss might be insane. She asks Hannah to write about things outside her comfort zone, like threesomes and a night’s experience on cocaine. The only problem is that Hannah has never tried cocaine and the boss is ecstatic at the prospect of a newbie writing about her crazy night. Thus Hannah and Elijah’s whirlwind night of drugs is born.
Let’s be clear here, no one is condoning drugs. In fact, I’m pretty positive that Lena Dunham wrote this episode as a forewarning against any viewers’ possible drug use. She paints a pretty humiliating and horrifying picture. First, Hannah needs to find someone to get her the cocaine and Marnie suggests the neighbor in the floor apartment named Laird.
Laird is jealous of Hannah’s clever wifi name, ‘Madame Ovaries’ which has now been modified to fit her newest roommate Elijah’s personality and is titled, ‘Muffins are Tasty’. Laird also has a turtle and he is recently clean from using. He gives in and gets Hannah the cocaine anyway.
Elijah and Hannah start doing the drugs around 4pm, after he picks out a terrible outfit for her. They start frantically making plans for the future, Hannah’s being tasting wedding cakes and giving into the industrial marriage complex. They write them on the walls of the apartment. Then they’re off to the club where Elijah’s favorite DJ’s are playing. Andrew and Andrew remind Hannah that she would indeed like to bone herself, but it would be her worst nightmare.
Hannah trades shirts with a stranger and wears for the rest of the episode of mesh disaster that shows off her tah-tahs. Let us all praise the fabulous Lena Dunham for being the bravest woman on television. Usually boobs are presented to us in a glamorous, perfectly lit way. Dunham goes full throttle by presenting us with druggy, partying realness. She has earned that Golden Globe, bitches.
As Elijah and Hannah snort off a disgusting toilet seat, he reveals that he slept with Marnie. Hannah is aghast and after visiting the drug store and talking with Laird who has been following them around all night, she decides to visit Marnie.
At this point, the pity for Marnie might actually outweigh the hatred of Marnie. She was unable to find a curator job after being laid off and is working as a hostess in a gentlemen’s club. She meets up with the creepy artist Booth Jonathan, played by Jorma Taccone from A Lonely Island. He is one creepy bastard. He takes Marnie to his apartment, shows off his murder art, locks her inside a television box of doom, and then bones her in front of a creepy doll. What is Marnie getting out of this? And where is Jessa to remind Marnie to never be smote by a man? There is not enough Jessa in this season!!!
Hannah finds Marnie at Booth’s place and lets her know that Elijah spilled the beans. Marnie is a bad friend and she knows it. Hannah calls her out, then goes home with Laird before sleeping with him for her article. Hannah also asks Elijah to move out, proving once again that she can’t face up to her opposition. She recently dumped Sandy for being a republican. This leaves us all to contemplate Marnie’s future. Let’s pray that she gets her shit together and realizes her worth now that she has eaten some terribly tasting humble pie.