Gay Penguins Need Our Help

No, we don’t mean Tom Cruise or Wentworth Miller in a tux. The Bremerhaven Zoo in Germany has discovered that three penguin couples have turned out to be all male. Yes, there are gay penguins. Thinking that perhaps they would grow out of this phase, or there wasn’t enough female penguin ass to go ’round, zookeepers planned to introduce some new female penguins into the gayborhood to jump start some reproduction.

Not so fast, a local gay group said, and protested “the organized and forced harassment through female seductresses” that the zoo was planning. Yes, they protested gay penguins’ right to stay with their own sex.

Yep.

And it worked! “Everyone can live here as they please,” the zoo director stated and announced that the female ex-gay ministry penguins would be going elsewhere. Perhaps to Jake Gyllenhaal’s house. Reese wants them there.


No, we don’t mean Tom Cruise or Wentworth Miller
in a tux. The Bremerhaven Zoo in Germany has discovered that three
penguin couples have turned out to be all male. Yes, there are gay
penguins. Thinking that perhaps they would grow out of this phase, or
there wasn’t enough female penguin ass to go ’round, zookeepers planned
to introduce some new female penguins into the gayborhood to jump start
some reproduction.Not so fast, a local gay group said, and protested
“the organized and forced harassment through female seductresses” that
the zoo was planning. Yes, they protested gay penguins’ right to stay
with their own sex. Yep.And it worked! “Everyone can
live here as they please,” the zoo director stated and announced that
the female ex-gay ministry penguins would be going elsewhere. Perhaps
to Jake Gyllenhaal’s house. Reese wants them there.