‘Game Of Thrones’ Season Four Finale Recap: ‘The Children’ [SPOILERS]

Jon Snow Gets Hot
Harington Takes It Off For Wonderland Magazine
Happy Father’s Day, Tywin Lannister!

On the season four finale of HBO’s Game Of Thrones, Tyrion gave his horrible father the ultimate revenge gift and it couldn’t have been more deserved. Apparently, there is some justice in Westeros after all.

But viewers picked up where they last found our favorite squinty eyed beauty Jon Snow, walking out the gate of the wall to meet with Mance Rayder and attempt to kill him. Queue the fainting and the swooning for puppy eyed actor Kit Harington.

Snow gets to Mance’s camp and surrenders, telling him that the Night’s Watch has sent him to negotiate. He lies and says that they have over a thousand men guarding the wall. Mance and Jon drink to honor Ygritte. Both Mance and Tormund Giantsbane confirmed that she did truly love Jon and they request that she be given a proper burial on the North side of the wall. Just when Jon attempts to kill Mance, a massive army of riders on horses come charging at Mance’s men from the wall and from the other side of the forest. It’s Stannis Baratheon and his sidekick Davos, who introduce him as the rightful king of the seven kingdoms.

Mance refuses to bow to Stannis. Baratheon wonders why Jon is hanging out with the wildlings. Snow reveals that he is Ned Stark’s son and that Mance once let him live so Stannis should at least take him prisoner and question him rather than killing him. Stannis’ wife and daughter gather with the Night’s Watch for the mass funeral of the fallen soldiers. Jon advises Stannis to burn the bodies of every dead man and creature around to prevent them from becoming white walkers. Jon then takes Ygritte into the woods North of the wall and burns her body.

Dany is still in Meereen attempting to deal with her subjects’ requests. One old man is upset that he was freed from his master because rather than using his skill of teaching to the master’s children, he is fighting over food and shelter with the other freed slaves. He asks to be reinstated as a slave to his master. Khaleesi agrees that he can sign a one year contract, but Sir Barriston tells her that the masters will only take advantage of this. Another man who cannot speak the common tongue brings the body of his three-year-old daughter, who was killed by one of Dany’s dragons. She is so upset and in shock over this that she leads two of the three dragons to the city’s catacombs and chains them up. She cries as the guards close the doors while the dragons scream after her like babies.

Bran, Hodor, Jojen, and Meera trek to the red leaved tree where the three eyed raven is supposed to be located. As they are crossing an icey landscape to get to the doorway, Jojen collapses from exhaustion and is grabbed by the hand of a skeleton. The entire bunch is attacked by an army of various dead dudes and it’s freaking terrifying. Bran goes wog and takes on Hodor’s body to defend the others. Bran’s direwolf comes in handy and fights like a bad ass. But Jojen notices that Bran will be attacked and while he is paying attention to him, the beheaded skeleton next to him grabs a knife and stabs him. An immortal child appears and protects Bran from the skeletons by throwing fire and urges Meera to leave Jojen, who agrees she should abandon him. She says goodbye and slits his throat before running after Bran and Hodor into a cave, which is protected from the zombie army. Bran approaches the old ass dude with a beard known as the three eyed raven, who tells him that while he will never walk again he will fly instead.

Cersei hires a necromancer to bring back the Mountain from the dead. Grand Myster Parcelle finds during the autopsy that Oberyn’s weapons were tipped with poison to ensure a swift death. Tywin reminds Cersei that she will marry Loras Tyrell whether she likes it or not. She points out that she must stay in King’s Landing to protect her son Tommin, because Tywin sat back and let Joffrey be poisoned and sent her daughter away. The only person that can protect Tommin is his mother. Tywin refuses and Cersei tells him that she will tell the truth about her and Jaime being lovers and having children together. Then she goes to tell Jaime what she has revealed.

Jaime frees Tyrion from the dungeon and arranges for him to meet with Varys in order to escape. But before Tyrion follows these directions he decides to go to his father’s chambers. He finds a woman in Tywin’s bed and when he gets close he realizes that it’s his one true love, Shae. She has betrayed him and has been sleeping with Tywin. She tries to kill him, but Tyrion is able to strangle her to death. He is terribly sad about this. He finds a crossbow, goes to his father, who is taking a dump at the chamber pot and aims to kill. Tywin doesn’t take his son seriously and tells him to put down the weapon and talk it out. He tells him that he would never have him killed, but Tyrion doesn’t care. He kills his father on the chamber pot with two arrows. Varys helps him escape to a boat on the harbor by hiding him in a crate. Varys hears the bells ring in the tower signifying Tywin’s murder and realizes he can’t return to the castle so he boards the ship as well and exits King’s Landing.

Brienne of Tarth comes across Arya and the Hound who have just left the Eyrie. She doesn’t recognize them, but her squire Pod knows the Hound. Brienne realizes that the young girl is Arya Stark and urges her to come with her. She tells her of the oath she gave to her mother and that Jaime Lannister wants to keep the oath as well and keep her safe. The Hound doesn’t trust it and he starts fighting Brienne. Both are worthy adversaries and kick major ass. The Hound seems to have the upper hand at first and knocks Brienne down a few times, but she takes his sword. She doesn’t want to kill him, but he reminds her that he isn’t a knight and starts fighting dirty. They kick, punch, bite, and pull hair until Brienne hits him with a rock repeatedly and then kicks him off a short cliff.

Arya hides from Brienne and waits for her to leave. She finds the Hound with a nasty compound fractured broken leg, a damaged skull, and a freaking hole where his ear was before Brienne bit it off. He urges Arya to go with Brienne because she won’t be safe alone, but Arya refuses. He also begs her to kill him and reminds her that he is a horrible person. But Arya leaves him to suffer and die alone. Then she finds a ship going to Braavos. She shows the captain the iron coin that Jaqen gave her and repeats the magic words, ‘Valar Morghulis’. The captain immediately grants her safe passage on the ship to Braavos.

What did you think of the season finale? Let us know in the comments below!