Things were hot and heavy the latest episode of HBO’s Game Of Thrones. Dudes Loras the squire and Renly Baratheon rolled around in the sack and nobody was complaining. Except maybe Renly, who is newly wed to the ever luscious Margaery Tyrell played by Natalie Dormer of Anne Boleyn Tudors fame.
Margaery understands the situation and realizes that Renly prefers her brother, so she lets him know early on that they will figure things out in the baby department by keeping him comfortable. Lady on the street, but a freak in the sheets, eh?
Meanwhile, Sansa is still living in hell. During a casual dinner conversation with her young children, Cersei talks about Joffrey possibly killing Sansa’s brother. Cersei is the best at making people hate their lives. Nice work Lena Headey! Tyrion sends his lover to be Sansa’s handmaiden so that Cersei won’t off her and it looks like it might be beneficial for Sansa as well, who desperately needs someone to confide in.
Tyrion also tests the allegiance of Maester Pycelle, Peter, and that bald guy by telling them all different versions of the same story, asking each of them to keep it a secret from his sister Cersei. He is planning to ship off Cersei’s young daughter Princess Myrcella to create an alliance. When Cersei finds out she is furious, but can do nothing because her brother has been appointed by her father as the King’s Hand and she is a woman. Ironic though, because she doesn’t care about Sansa’s experience at all while she desperately fears the outcome of her own daughter’s future.
Jon Snow gets his face kicked in a bit and then chewed out by Mormont, who already knows about the killing of the infant boys. However, they are being sacrificed to the creepy ice dudes. Bummer. Fat Sam gives Gilly the only item he has from his mother, a thimble perhaps? And he promises to come back for her later. Good Lord, this series is complicated enough without trying to figure out whether the hell some clandestine object is a thimble, a whistle, or a freaking mini teapot. But honestly, does it matter?
Little Bran is having nightmares and he believes that he is able to predict the future. He saw his father die in a dream, but Luwin tells him that there is no magic or fantasy left in the world. He also tells him that there are no dragons, which the audience now knows to be untrue. Sadly, there were no Daenerys updates this episode. We miss you Emilia Clarke!
Theon’s father reveals that he plans to storm the North now that Ned Stark is dead and little Bran is in charge. Theon was given away to the Starks when Robert Baratheon became king and has been living with them for years. Although Rob Stark is like a brother to him, Theon decides to betray his best friend and side with his father, consecrating his faith to the Drowned God while repeating the phrase, “What is dead may never die”. Whatever that means!
Because Pyrcelle was the one who told Cersei about the betrothal of her daughter to the highest bidder, Tyrion knew he was a traitor and cut off his beard before placing him in the dungeons. Freaking smart shit right there and no surprise either because Peter Dinklage is a complete and total bad ass.
Last, but not least, little Arya is still posing as a boy and staying close to Gendry, Robert Baratheon’s bastard. Yoren of the Night’s Watch was close to Arya’s uncle Benjen and her father Ned, so he has looked after her since her father’s slaying. But the camp is stormed by Joffrey’s men and as they look for Gendry the bastard they slaughter nearly everyone, including Yoren. There was some pretty grotesque gore during this scene. One of the boys used Gendry’s bull helmet and when Arya is questioned she tells the king’s guards that they have killed Gendry while motioning to the boy Lommy. Gendry and Arya keep silent. They are to be taken back to King’s Landing, which is the last place they want to be.
Bottom line is this, the men in this storyline are continually underestimating the women, especially Ned’s widow Catelyn Stark. It may very well be their downfall and we cannot wait until the shit hits the fan and the women take revenge.