In the latest episode of HBO’s Game Of Thrones, Robb and Catelyn Stark attend the funeral of Catelyn’s father. Her brother attempts to light his burial at the river aflame with arrows, but continues to miss until Catelyn’s uncle finishes the deed. Robb is annoyed with Catelyn’s brother Edmure because instead of luring Tywin Lannister he attacked him losing hundreds of men which they need. He did capture two young Lannister cousins.
Tywin convenes a meeting with his council and Cersei makes sure to sit right next to her father while Tyrion sits across the table from his father in an act of defiance. Littlefinger is going to the Vale to marry Catelyn Stark’s sister Lysa Aryn the widow which leaves his position of master of the coin open. Tyrion is to take his place and is not psyched on this role. How does he soothe his aching heart? Whores of course! Bring on the boobs.
After Tyrion gets the books from Littlefinger he finds out that in order to survive at the palace he has been borrowing large sums of money from Tywin Lannister, who will most certainly demand the debt to be repaid. Tyrion wants to pay his servant Podrick back for saving his life and gives him the gift of three very experienced prostitutes. But the boy returns with payment in hand and explains that the women gave their services for free. Tyrion and is amazed that the boy was that charming and wants details.
Gendry and Arya are still with the Brothers Without Banners and he crafts some armor for Thoros. Arya says he shouldn’t help him as they are keeping the two prisoner in which Thoros states that she is not a prisoner, but that he is protecting Ned Stark’s daughter. Fattie Hotpie bakes some bread for the inn keeper who loves it so much that she offers him room, board, and a job. He bakes Arya a wolf pie and they say their goodbyes.
Mance and Jon Snow find a formation of horse corpses which is left by the white walkers who have taken the dead crows and turned them into the walking dead. Jon says there were 300 of them. Mance sends a group to climb the wall and orders Jon Snow to follow. If he fails at helping them, Mance tells the men to throw Jon off the wall.
Theon escapes his torture with the help of a friend of his sister’s, but is captured shortly thereafter and nearly raped by a gang of men. The friend shows up and kills the men much to Theon’s surprise. In Dragonstone, Melisandre bails on Stannis even though he begs her to stay. She promises to make him king, but by different means than the last time when she killed Renly Baratheon.
Dany decides to buy the slave army of over 8,000 men and even more in training. She makes sure to ask for the woman assistant Missandei as a gift and lets her know that she is essentially free if she wants. In order to buy the army, Dany promises to give her largest dragon to that douche bag Krasnys and Jorah freaks out, telling her that dragons are rare. Something tells me that Dany has a plan up her sleeve. The dragons seems too loyal to her and may very well follow her after she leaves with the army.
Brienne and Jaimie Lannister have been captured by the Tully’s who will return them to Robb Stark. On their way to camp Jaimie tells Brienne that the men will surely rape her and that she shouldn’t fight it, but she says she doesn’t care if they knock her teeth out because she won’t give in easy. When the men attempt to rape her Jaimie tells the leader that she is worth her weight in Sapphires, which her father will surely pay if she is returned unbesmirched. They return her to the tree she was tied to without raping her.
Jaimie also tells the leader that he is worth his weight in gold and that they should return him to his father where they will be rewarded with a lifetime of gold. He also says that they don’t stand a chance winning against the Lannisters. The men seem to be going along with this idea and invite Jaimie to eat with them. But when he sits at the table the leader threatens to cut his eye out and instead tell him that he is nothing like his father and they are disgusted by him. They then cut the right hand off of Jaimie Lannister, the famous king slayer.