Well, that was literally mind blowing!
On the latest episode of HBO’s Game Of Thrones, someone got in over their head when it came to an epic showdown. But first, Magnar and the Thenn cannibals paired up with the Wildlings and attacked Mole’s Town on their way to Castle Black. Gilly was able to hide away with her baby and Ygritte decided to spare her life, proving that she isn’t all bad.
Back at the wall Sam was worried sick about Gilly while Jon Snow and the rest of the boys in black prepared for the worst as they only have 102 men to fight against Mance Rayder’s massive army. Well, crap.
Grey Worm and the unsullied were bathing nearby Missandei and the other worker-bee women when he saw her naked. They like each other. You could tell by the look on his face that he wants to become sullied. He apologized, but she was like, “It’s all good. I wanna do you too.” So that’s cute.
But then later on, Sir Barriston was given a document signed by Robert Baratheon that gave Jorah a royal pardon for selling secrets to Varys about Dany’s marriage to Khal Drogo, her brother’s death, and her pregnancy. That’s why she was almost poisoned. Khaleesi was furious when she found out and banished a weepy eyed Jorah from Meereen.
Theon Greyjoy took on his name again to help Ramsay Snow conquer an ironborn garrison. He promised the men that if they surrendered they would be safe, but Ramsay flayed them alive anyway. His father rewarded him by taking him on as his true son and giving him the name Ramsay Bolton so that he may inherit and guard the North.
Petyr Baelish was questioned by Lord Royce and other elders at the Vale concerning Lysa Tulley’s death from falling through the moon door. They brought in Sansa Stark who revealed her true identity and lied for Baelish, going along with his story that Lysa killed herself and was not thrown to her death. Baelish then helped groom Lysa’s son Robin to become Lord of the Vale and Sansa found a Hot Topic somewhere in the palace so she could dress like a sexy goth. Talk about taking a pervy old dude and teenager relationship to the ultimate creeper status!
The Hound and Arya finally showed up at the Vale only to be told that Lysa Tulley just died. Arya was so overwhelmed by the shitstorm that is her life that she started laughing hysterically at the news. She is unaware that her sister Sansa is currently residing there. The Hound has yet to get his reward and might perish from a festering wound in his neck.
Jaime and Tyrion talked about their cousin Orson in the dungeons of King’s Landing. Orson was mentally challenged and would constantly kill beetles with a rock. Tyrion was fascinated and haunted by this as he could never understand why Orson loved watching the beetles die. After this discussion, Tyrion went off to witness Prince Oberyn fight the Mountain, Gregor Clegane (the Hound’s horrible older brother).
Oberyn is drinking before the fight, wears no body armor other than leather, and is super cocky. He admits to the Mountain and everyone watching that he is there to avenge his sister Elia whose children were killed by Clegane in front of her eyes before he raped and murdered her. The Red Viper is pretty incredible and dances around with his spear pretty well. He spears Clegane in the leg and in the chest, but before he finishes him off Oberyn demands an apology from the Mountain.
Rather than give him the apology, Clegane suddenly punches Oberyn in the face knocking out all his teeth, flips him on his back, admits to raping and killing Elia, and then presses his thumbs into Oberyn’s eye sockets and smashes his skull in between his massive hands. Oberyn dies upon implosion and the stunned crowd sits silently with mouths agape. Tywin sentences his son Tyrion to death by beheading.
What did you think of this week’s episode? Let us know in the comments below!