After another life threatening incident, Jon Snow and Ygritte are really learning a lot about one another in a short amount of time. In this week’s episode of HBO’s Game Of Thrones, the wildlings begin their trek to Castle Black and Ygritte is amazed by a windmill which she mistakes for a castle. Jon Snow explains that his home of Winterfell will blow her mind, but that the wildlings don’t stand a chance in winning a war against the North, which has beaten them down six times in the past. Ygritte doesn’t believe him, but makes out with him anyway. And who wouldn’t?
Osha is getting very suspicious of Jojen and Meera, who keep telling Bran about his three eyed raven. Osha wants to take him to his brother Rob, but Jojen says they are headed towards the wall. Osha tells them about her zombie husband who was taken over by white walkers and tried to kill her and that the boys shouldn’t go anywhere near the wall. Talk about some next level insanity.
Robb Stark is on his way to deliver his uncle to the Frey’s for marriage when he finds out that his wife is pregnant. He is very happy and promises to go with her to meet her family one day soon.
Margarey tries to comfort Sansa about the fact that she’ll be wedding and bedding a dwarf. She assures her that Tyrion has a lot of experience and seems like a considerate and kind lover. Margarey says that it takes a long time for a man to learn to please a woman in bed and Sansa asks if she learned that from her mother. How cute. Tyrion is also worried about the marriage and tries to convince Shae that he is against it, but will take care of Shae and treat her as his one and only. But she points out that any children they may have will always be in danger from being killed in order to protect the throne.
Khaleesi comes upon the town of Yunkai and asks Joran if they are jerks too. Apparently, there are a lot of slaves living there and she plans to free them with her unsullied in order to gain more recruits for her war. She meets with the head honcho who offers her two cases full of gold and plenty of ships to sail out of sight, but she refuses. She offers him his life and in return orders him to free his slaves and gives them food, clothing, and payment for their servitude. He protests but her dragons do the talking.
Melisandre shows Gendry King’s Landing and asks if he has missed it. She also drops the bomb that he is Robert Baratheon’s bastard and has some great things in store in his life. Gendry is in shock. Arya is still angry that Gendry was sold by the brotherhood and when she finds out that they are leaving the path to her brother Robb in order to kill a pack of Lannisters, she runs away and is caught in the woods by the Hound.
Theon is still being tortured, but is untied and relieved by two beautiful women. They start to disrob and then essentially hump him silly when his captor reappears to mock and humiliate him. Then he orders his men to cut off Theon’s manhood. Brutal.
Jaime says goodbye to Brienne and leaves for King’s Landing, but promises that he will return Catelyn Stark’s daughters to her. When he realizes that the men think they’ve been jaded by Brienne’s father, who offered them a hefty reward for her return which didn’t involve the nonexistent sapphires that Jaime boasted, he realizes they are going to use Brienne and kill her. He arrives back just in time to see her locked in an arena while fighting a huge grizzly bear with only a stick. He jumps down in the pit to save her and then orders the men escorting him back to his father to help save her. They follow his orders much to the dismay of Locke, who cut off Jaime’s hand and now the two are on their way back to the palace together.