‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: ‘First Of His Name’

Chelsi Archibald | May 5, 2014 - 7:00 am

Burn baby, burn!

On the latest episode of HBO’s Game Of Thrones, some chicks finally saw some much needed justice, all thanks to that hottie Jon Snow. But first, Joffrey’s much nicer and younger brother Tommen is named ruler over the sevens kingdoms.

He is especially excited that sexy Margaery Tyrell is smiling and batting her eyelashes at him throughout the ceremony, something his mother Cersei is not pleased with.

[midpostembed id=”9778258″ type=”gallery” title=”Hottie Kit Harington proves that Jon Snow is hot as hell”]The two women discuss Margaery’s possible marriage to her dead husband’s prepubescent brother and even though we all know that she wants to be queen she tells Cersei that she has to speak with her father about it. Remember, this is the chick that has been creeping into the kid’s room at night.

Khaleesi’s man Daario informs her that the unsullied have won her some ships. She wonders if she should sail to Westeros and conquer King’s Landing, but Jorah says 10,000 men won’t cut it. Plus, two of the cities she has overthrown have been taken over by their former slavers. She decides not to sail and instead stay and be queen to those she has freed for the time being.

Tywin makes it known to Cersei that the Lannisters are in debt up to their eyeballs to the Iron Bank. Cersei says she will do her duty by marrying Loras Tyrell for the good of the family, but hints that he had better get Tyrion back for allegedly murdering her son. She also speaks with Prince Oberyn about her daughter and he promises that she is safe. He also promises to deliver a special ship as a gift for the young princess.

Petyr Baelish takes Sansa to the Eyrie and meets up with her aunt Lysa, who for lack of a better word, is completely insane. Never make a baby with crazy, dude. Apparently, Baelish hit that a long time ago and encouraged her to poison her own husband Jon Arryn. Then she blamed it on the Lannisters knowing her sister and the Starks would stir up trouble for them. Petyr promised to marry Lysa and rule the Vale with her, but we all know she is just a pawn in a larger game for Baelish.

Lysa interrogates Sansa and makes sure that she hasn’t slept with Baelish. Then she spends the first night screaming in ‘pleasure’ while welcoming Baelish home and demands they get married immediately. Petyr always had a huge love for Sansa’s mother Catelyn and it seems that even though he has treated her like a child thus far, he is fond the fact that she looks a lot like Cat. Lysa is obviously threatened by that.

Pod is still following Brienne around and acting as her squire even though he isn’t very good at it and she doesn’t need him. She does find out that he has little to no skill, but finally understands his value when he tells her that he saved Lord Tyrion during the battle of Blackwater.

Bran, Jojen, Meera, and Hodor are still being held prisoner at Craster’s creepy sex hut when Jon Snow’s crew shows up. They are unaware of Bran’s presence. The leader of the mutineers arranges to rape Meera, but Snow’s men attack before he has a chance. They obliterate the mutineers and Jon Snow looks like a sexy badass. He fights Karl one-on-one and almost gets killed before one of the women stabs the creep in the back and Snow finishes him off with a sword through the skull.

Bran wants to see Jon, but Jojen reminds him that his older brother might ruin their plans of finding the three-eyed raven and instead take him back to Castle Black. This may be the only chance these two have to see each other again, but Bran decides to free Summer and be on his way. Ghost is also freed and reunites with Snow.

Jon also offers the women safe passage to Castle Black where they can live and work safely, but they refuse, having had enough of men for the rest of forever. Poor girls. They spit on the ground and burn Craster’s sex hut to the ground.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Let us know in the comments below.

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