It’s Friday, the sun is shining, I got a free Us Weekly and some beauty products in a gift bag from a party that I totally should not have been invited to, but totally was, so yeah. I’d say things are looking good from here. And do you know why you should be feeling the same way? Because you have the weekly Friday Five sitting here before you. That’s right, my collection of J. Harvey’s five posts from the past week that I think you should A) not have missed in the first place and/or B) can save yourself the trouble of digging out and reading for the first time because, ta-da, here they are!
1. Virgie Arthur Sets Her Barcalounger And Bucket Of Chicken Directly In Dannielynn’s Path To Freedom – Nobody paints a picture of Virgie Arthur quite like Mr. Harvey and quite frankly, that’s just how we like it.
2. Well, Hullo There… – The way that J. wrote this monologue from Courtney Love begs to be read aloud in your best, worst impression of a drunk Robin Leach. And strangely enough, I almost feel like I learned something in between my guffaws of laughter. Like “Percocets can be very helpful when you’re feeling stressed or misunderstood,” or “Your personal style is usually built on acquiring the things that you desire.”
3. Victoria Beckham Talks About Her Ongoing Battle With Food – J.’s mention that Posh “looks good as a sleek lesbian double agent with the short blonde hair,” was on-point and also helped me figure out how to verbalize how I’d secretly love to get my hair cut.
4. Stevie Nicks On Britney And Lohan – The love J. carries for Stevie Nicks is as profound as the deep-seated affection he holds for Valerie Bertinelli. If I had the power to meld these women into one, huge conglomerate of sweetness and raspy voice and bangs, I would do it for J.’s birthday and mail this new creature to him.
5. Aniston and Vince Vaughn Know That Ex-Sex Is The Best Sex – It’s all funny…because it’s true.