Friday Five: J. Harvey’s Top Five

March 30th, 2007 // 4 Comments


Once again, my good friend, J. Harvey has made it very difficult for me to sort through the gems he’s produced this week to try and find my top five favorites. And I know I’m cheating sort of, cause I’m sneaking in extras. But guess what? I’m the editor, so I do what I want! BWAHAHAHA!

1. Lohan’s Being Used To Sell Condos and Lindsay Celebrating Being Used To Sell Condos – I enjoy the cause and effect going on between these two posts, one of which refers to “Scotch-garded carpets and plenty of room in the bathroom for four people to hunker over a mirror” and the other, in which he informs our dear Linds, “No one wants to see you grinding your teeth and licking your lips, Peanut Butter Mouth!” And you know what? It’s funny because it’s true.

2. What Do Lesbians And Kirsten Dunst Bring On The Second Date? A U-Haul Full Of Their Furniture. – I’d attempt to compete with J. for most clever titles except that there would be no point, really. And as if that weren’t enough, his awesomely bad impersonation of a British man is so dead-on, it’s as if he were transcribing Dick Van Dyke’s chimney sweep from Mary Poppins his very own self. Cheerio, guv’nor!

3. Christ, You Give A Girl A Machine Gun For A Leg And Suddenly She’s Jennifer Hudson – Sigh, the ol’ “Jennifer Hudson/Machine Gun Leg” joke–kills me every time.

4. Donatella Versace’s Daughter In Treatment For Anorexia and Donatella Versace Phones Home – These two posts have me thinking that we might need to start a completely separate “Donatella Versace Blog,” that J. is required to do simply for my benefit. Go!

5. Heather Mills Making One-Legged Golddiggers Look Good, Limber – Part of the reason why I love this post so much is:

1) “She’s doing back-flips! I’m starting to understand why Beatle Paul was so into her ass. She can do tricks!”

2) In a phone conversation with my mother (a HUGE “Dancing with the Stars” fan) in which I read this post her had her exclaiming, “He’s so right! I’m starting to like her too!”

Enjoy your weekend, my filthies.

By Lisa Timmons

  1. She looks great in those pictures

  2. Chels

    you are both awesome, and I love this site. However this mutual back-patting you’ve taken to doing each week is…um…really stupid and annoying. Maybe you could just send each other little love letter emails rather than wasting space on the site and forcing me to scroll past this crap every week.


    Lets make fun of pigrez hilton and how boooooring and watered down his site has become

  4. aw

    I COMPLETELY agree with Chels’ comment above — this reviewing each other’s posts is so incredibly annoying and bizarre. I can read the items myself and figure out what is funny. I really don’t need you guys to point it out and congratulate each other on how witty the posts were…seriously, sometimes I just leave the site because it annoys the everloving shit out of me.

Leave A Comment