Friday Five: J. Harvey’s Top Five

(Flynet)

Once again, my good friend, J. Harvey has made it very difficult for me to sort through the gems he’s produced this week to try and find my top five favorites. And I know I’m cheating sort of, cause I’m sneaking in extras. But guess what? I’m the editor, so I do what I want! BWAHAHAHA!

1. Lohan’s Being Used To Sell Condos and Lindsay Celebrating Being Used To Sell Condos – I enjoy the cause and effect going on between these two posts, one of which refers to “Scotch-garded carpets and plenty of room in the bathroom for four people to hunker over a mirror” and the other, in which he informs our dear Linds, “No one wants to see you grinding your teeth and licking your lips, Peanut Butter Mouth!” And you know what? It’s funny because it’s true.

2. What Do Lesbians And Kirsten Dunst Bring On The Second Date? A U-Haul Full Of Their Furniture. – I’d attempt to compete with J. for most clever titles except that there would be no point, really. And as if that weren’t enough, his awesomely bad impersonation of a British man is so dead-on, it’s as if he were transcribing Dick Van Dyke’s chimney sweep from Mary Poppins his very own self. Cheerio, guv’nor!

3. Christ, You Give A Girl A Machine Gun For A Leg And Suddenly She’s Jennifer Hudson – Sigh, the ol’ “Jennifer Hudson/Machine Gun Leg” joke–kills me every time.

4. Donatella Versace’s Daughter In Treatment For Anorexia and Donatella Versace Phones Home – These two posts have me thinking that we might need to start a completely separate “Donatella Versace Blog,” that J. is required to do simply for my benefit. Go!

5. Heather Mills Making One-Legged Golddiggers Look Good, Limber – Part of the reason why I love this post so much is:

1) “She’s doing back-flips! I’m starting to understand why Beatle Paul was so into her ass. She can do tricks!”

2) In a phone conversation with my mother (a HUGE “Dancing with the Stars” fan) in which I read this post her had her exclaiming, “He’s so right! I’m starting to like her too!”

Enjoy your weekend, my filthies.