Friday Five: J. Harvey’s Top Five

June 8th, 2007 // 3 Comments

(INF)

Dang. There was a lot of good stuff going on this week, giving J. Harvey plenty of targets for his arrows of snark. And I’m sad that I can only include 5 posts from this past week, because he was certainly on a roll. What with Paris bouncing in and out of the can, pictures of Lindsay Lohan and Vanessa Minnillinninnino (like I care how it’s really spelled) playing with knives and stuff, there was a whole lot crazy going on! Yee-haw! So, here’s a smattering of some good stuff that Mr. Harvey covered this past week, that I think you should check out, just in case you missed it the first time around.

1. Eddie Izzard Is Protective Of Teri Hatcher’s Drunk Ass – This is a post that might not have been reporting on some breaking news, but J.’s observation that angry, bird-flipping lady in the car with Teri Hatcher totally looks like a manlier, surly version of Eddie Izzard is dead-on.

2. Projectile Child Found In Akon Stage Incident – I think the expression “projectile child” pretty much says it all, doesn’t it?

3. Is This Allowed? – The post is funny, all the way through. But what stuck in my mind was J.’s theory that this mysterious “source” is actually Britney’s coke pipe because if it is, that thing needs its own talk show. Also, receiving therapeutic substance abuse recovery treatment via genitals touching is HOT. Thanks for pointing that out, J.

4. Paris Either Has A Rash Or Bitch Is Crazy – You know Paris had to sneak in here at some point. And J. takes this opportunity to point out that JAIL is not supposed to be fun. DUH. Rehab’s the one that’s fun. Just ask Linds.

5. You Know You Want This – J. provides us with a nostalgic look at the 80′s–as seen through the eyes of a disbelieving gay man with access to the Internet.

By Lisa Timmons
  1. Zekers

    I can’t get over how much she looks like Kim Stewart when she isn’t all made up…

  2. Dr. Death

    Death Pool 2007

    Which of the Hollywood Sluts will be the first to kick?

    -Lindsay Blohan
    -Junkie Nicole Richie
    -Parasite Hilton
    -Shittany Spears

    Post your vote.

    My money’s on Blohan.

  3. Tom Cruise

    Which Hollywood megastar, now cruising on his reputation, is not the father of his latest (and first nonadoptive) child? The actual father is an asian movie stagehand who worked on Mrs. Megastar’s last film. Mr. Megarstar’s sister, unable to hide Mr. Megastar’s preference for rectum, put Mrs. Megastar under contract as Mr. Megastar’s third wife after learning that she was with child but without husband. Said asian stagehand agreed to the arrangement as long as he got to name his daughter. Mrs. Megastar has been fucking the help again, though, and the biological father of her soon to be announced second baby isn’t being nearly so cooperative.

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