Friday Five: J. Harvey’s Top Five

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Dang. There was a lot of good stuff going on this week, giving J. Harvey plenty of targets for his arrows of snark. And I’m sad that I can only include 5 posts from this past week, because he was certainly on a roll. What with Paris bouncing in and out of the can, pictures of Lindsay Lohan and Vanessa Minnillinninnino (like I care how it’s really spelled) playing with knives and stuff, there was a whole lot crazy going on! Yee-haw! So, here’s a smattering of some good stuff that Mr. Harvey covered this past week, that I think you should check out, just in case you missed it the first time around.

1. Eddie Izzard Is Protective Of Teri Hatcher’s Drunk Ass – This is a post that might not have been reporting on some breaking news, but J.’s observation that angry, bird-flipping lady in the car with Teri Hatcher totally looks like a manlier, surly version of Eddie Izzard is dead-on.

2. Projectile Child Found In Akon Stage Incident – I think the expression “projectile child” pretty much says it all, doesn’t it?

3. Is This Allowed? – The post is funny, all the way through. But what stuck in my mind was J.’s theory that this mysterious “source” is actually Britney’s coke pipe because if it is, that thing needs its own talk show. Also, receiving therapeutic substance abuse recovery treatment via genitals touching is HOT. Thanks for pointing that out, J.

4. Paris Either Has A Rash Or Bitch Is Crazy – You know Paris had to sneak in here at some point. And J. takes this opportunity to point out that JAIL is not supposed to be fun. DUH. Rehab’s the one that’s fun. Just ask Linds.

5. You Know You Want This – J. provides us with a nostalgic look at the 80’s–as seen through the eyes of a disbelieving gay man with access to the Internet.