This dude is such a creepshow. It was creepy enough when you just thought he was a closted queen in lust with his daughter’s then husband. But then he flipped the script and revealed himself to be way too into his daughter’s lives. And a little too admiring of their bodies. *shiver* Joe Simpson has revealed that Jessica was offered the role of a porn star but he turned it down. Does she get a say? Probably not. She’s still figuring out how to work lollipops and trying to remember her phone number.

“The last script that came to us was for Jessica to be a porn star,” Jessica’s father and manager, Joe Simpson, told PEOPLE at Thursday’s ABC Television Critics Association party in Beverly Hills.

“We were promised we would win an Oscar with that,” says Simpson, 49. “I was like, ‘Eh, we’ll just buy a [statue of a] little man and keep our clothes on.’ ”

“Our clothes”? In his mind, he is so inside her. 24-7. I bet this role was the Jenna Jameson movie. Jenna’s been shopping her autobiography around Hollywood and trying to get a big-name star to play her. This role could be a breakthrough for Jessica. Who in the hell wouldn’t go see that flick? Take it! She can’t act but the straight guys might get to see her ta-ta’s and the gays and women could get drunk at Chile’s beforehand and have themselves a merry old time.